With Christmas around the corner, I decided today to give my grandchildren, Elizabeth, Trenton and Keirston some unsolicited advice from their grandfather who loves them.
I realize it's not what they expected, but I can only hope as they grow these lessons might help them navigate life's often treacherous and unpredictable waters.
Here's what I wrote that I believe applies to all of us.
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You were born to be yourself and all that means, not to be perfect, or to even try to be. Be content within yourself and do right by others.
Always put your faith in a higher source in a world filled with strife and abundant evil. Pray often. You arrived alone and will exit this world alone, which is true for us all.
Live out your brief stay here like you plan on leaving behind those things you achieve that hopefully will make this a better place for those who follow you.
Never forget you are the product of your choices. Make good ones based in the best truth you can find at the time and learn lessons from the poorer ones.
Treasure every moment you have with those you love and care about. It is these fond memories that will endure in the minds of others as you depart this strange place.
Always choose above all else to be kind to others, especially those who gave you life and sacrificed to sustain you through childhood. It is a debt that can only be repaid through love and caring.
If you aren't willing to stand and fight for what you believe, don't cry for what is lost because you didn't.
Take responsibility for your words and actions rather than trying to blame others for what you created.
Choose your friends and companions carefully. One bad influence in your life can cause enormous damage to you and your future.
Examine your own imperfections and shortcomings before pointing judgmental fingers at others for theirs. We all have plenty. Along the same lines, realize everyone around you also has their own battles and challenges to weather that you will never know.
You are better off saying nothing rather than telling lies to obscure truth. Remember evil flourishes in direct correlation to how much truth is violated. Big lie equals big evil.
When you are feeling agitated or down, find a creek and sit for a while watching light play on its ripples, or listen to beautiful music to lift you back up.
If you choose to begin anything, never give up until it is completed, even when the results turn out differently than originally hoped. There are lessons in everything you do. The test lies in learning them.
Take time as you age to quietly examine your life, the good and bad decisions you have made and where they have left you. Learn and grow from that introspection.
Never fear taking a risk when you feel it could prove beneficial. Risk is a natural part of being alive and those willing to take them very often succeed beyond their hopes and dreams. Not to risk is to invite regrets afterward.
Accept wins and losses graciously, remembering everyone wants to win but no one always wins.
Always lock your car doors when caught in downtown traffic and keep a small device inside that allows you to shatter a window if necessary.
Trust your gut instincts above others' words. They exist for a reason. Words are easily abused and often used to manipulate.
Expect the unexpected. Everyone's life has unforeseen setbacks that can and often do alter the direction and outcome. The best way to deal with those is by accepting change, adjusting the sails, revising course and diligently forging ahead.
It very often is a bad mistake to assume anything about others or outcomes. Don't assume. If you do, learn the lesson from being mistaken.
Put yourself in others' shoes and try to understand how they perceive life and its challenges. Everyone has more than their share of difficulties that often account for their behavior.
Never steal from others what is rightfully theirs, anymore than you wouldn't want them robbing from you.
Always remember that to anyone else, whether friend, lover, spouse, siblings, or parents, you are not the most important person. They are. And that's how they will filter information you share with them.
Learn how to properly speak and clearly write. People are constantly evaluating you on both.
Patience often proves to be a winning strategy in whatever you undertake, from daily life to sports and a career. Be patient even when you'd rather not.
Treat everyone you meet exactly like you would want them to treat you.
To make yourself feel better, do something thoughtful and anonymous for another person every day. Find a sense of caring and concern in your heart and act upon it toward those less fortunate than you.
When honors come your way, accept them humbly, for there will be many outside your circle of family and friends who are envious rather than joyful over your success.
If possible, tour a jail or prison one time in early life to see and understand why you never want to be in one.
Hold fast to invaluable friendships which can--and will--span a lifetime if they are nurtured.
Establish priorities. Without them in today's hectic world, the most important things are easily lost until it becomes too late to reclaim them.
Along the same lines, do all those things you want to do and accomplish in life as soon as possible. There are only so many tomorrows, and not a single one is promised to us.
Enjoy the unconditional love of a pet, which endures and fulfills in us the inherent need to express and experience such pure affection.
You only can keep what you're willing to give away. In other words: To receive, you have to give.
To leave a positive impression and boost conversation, always choose to sincerely ask others about their lives rather than trying to impress them with your own.
Very often, the loudest, most direct and effective response to a question is silence.
Recognize what a miracle your life and others represents. The human eye alone is so phenomenally complex it could not possibly have randomly evolved from a single cell.
Refrain from worrying about what's yet to come. Much of the time, the problem causing you anxiety never develops. And if it should, you will rise to overcome it.
If life knocks you down, climb back to your feet, dust yourself off, and forge ahead with more resolve than ever.
Having a fulfilling and enduring relationship with another means that for everything they do for your well-being, you repay it in kind. With each of you constantly putting water back into the well you share, it will never run dry.
Helping Jeanetta
Please indulge me, valued readers, as I do all I possibly can to help ease my wife Jeanetta's last three years of abdominal agony.
After visit after visit with gastroenterologists, general practitioners and specialists, she has yet to receive an answer as to what is causing her constant distress.
Even a visit to Barnes in St. Louis proved fruitless, and the Mayo Clinic told her she wasn't a candidate for its facility. Go figure.
So I am in search of the most astute and knowledgeable diagnostician who will take enough time not to dismiss her with another oversimplified and inaccurate "It's IBS" and send her on her way. That disorder would actually be a blessing of sorts.
This presents a challenge, and in my mind the doctor who can solve it will become as legendary as Marcus Welby, M.D.
We know something is causing her physical distress and we simply need the right doctor to diagnose what it is and how it can best be treated.
On the surface it sounds simple enough to take a look and narrow down potential causes, but time and her unsuccessful experiences have shown us it isn't.
She feels like she's nearing the end of her rope, which is why her husband this morning is seeking a doctor who can finally determine the cause.
Many thanks if you can help, or know someone who can.
Mike Masterson is a longtime Arkansas journalist, was editor of three Arkansas dailies and headed the master's journalism program at Ohio State University. Email him at [email protected].