So, it's come to this. At the request of my "day job" employer, my numerous co-workers and I have been invited to all continue to do our part, but to just do it from home.
I believe the phrase is "work remotely," which makes me think I should be packing up my laptop and setting off to some faraway location like Mount Everest. However, since, apparently it's been closed due to coronavirus concerns, I'll just have to head to the house.
Now, up front, I've got to say this seems like a pretty good idea to me. I mean, things are getting real, not just here but all around the world and we all need to be taking it seriously. And if the No. 1 way a disease that poses a real danger can be contained is not being around each other for a bit, well, maybe we should, oh, I don't know, listen to the doctors and do that. And wash your hands. But we covered that already.
However, just because I've accepted the wisdom of the decision doesn't mean I don't get to talk about it for a bit. Mostly because since everything else is closed, it's likely the only topic left. That and washing your hands. But, again, covered.
I mean, things could be worse. I could still be a sports writer and have every story consist of, "everything's still canceled, so, I don't know, read a book? And be sure to wash your hands" for the next month or so.
Of course, it's not like we haven't seen this coming for a bit, which means we've all been stockpiling helpful tips for working at home.
Because it seems in this day and age, there are lots of people who already work from home, so their professional lives don't allow them to experience the joy of playing "Parking Space Shark." That's where you cruise along behind someone as he heads to his car, only to discover he was just returning to get his laptop and isn't moving his car. So you have to keep looking for a spot and will wind up parking in another county. And if that doesn't sound like fun, there's always the adrenaline rush associated with trying to decide how much of a chance you're taking with that "grab and go" egg salad sandwich from the machine. Go ahead. Live life on the edge.
Anyway, many of those home office dwellers have taken to social media lately to walk us through how they do it. Mostly because they want to be helpful. And, at least to some degree they all need something to write about because everything else is closed. And they've already covered hand washing.
So, thanks to these tips, I know that I should put a bra on. Now, I'm going to contend that's metaphoric for getting ready for your day just like you would if you were going to your office. If they're being literal, well, looks like I'm going to have to head to the store. Except there's the "social distancing" thing, so I may just have to skip that one.
Also, according to the tips, I should set up a specific workspace and try to avoid anything that would tempt me to be less than optimally productive. Specifically, I should avoid the three great enemies of working from home -- the bed, the TV and the fridge. Which is why I'm currently laboring from a folding table in the room where we keep all our exercise equipment. Because I don't want to use that stuff when I'm supposed to, so it's doubtful I'll want to touch it when I'm not.
I've also been informed I should take advantage of my company's video conferencing options. Which would be fine, if only I and everyone else on the video conference knew how they worked. And that they weren't actually controlled by a bunch of ill-tempered gremlins who mute and unmute us in a random manner, then shut the whole thing down but don't let us know, which means we're either talking loudly to ourselves or frantically trying to re-connect, just as everyone else has given up and signed off.
Sort of makes you wish all you had to do was find a parking place or sniff out bad egg salad. Which, not surprisingly, isn't all that hard to do.
Bottom line, I and the rest of my co-workers will get through this. In fact, I'm even sort of looking forward to it. It's possible I'll experience days of incredible focus that will help me generate my best work.
It's also possible I'll start to lose it and wind up talking to a volleyball. There won't be a bloody handprint on it, because I'm definitely washing my hands.
But we covered that already...
Commentary on 03/20/2020