"The trouble is, you think you have time."--the Buddha
As we move further into the consequences of the novel coronavirus, we hear stories of those who have been stricken and have thankfully recovered, or those who were not so fortunate and did not recover, all at our own safe distance. Whatever our own individual circumstances, we always assume that tomorrow will come, and we shall find a way to survive what comes our way ... there will be plenty of time to tell the special people in our lives how much they mean to us.
The saying above is framed on a shelf in my bathroom. It reminds me each morning not to procrastinate. As I was cautioned growing up on a Southern farm, do what is necessary first, then you can have time for pleasure. The fields, orchards and livestock did not wait for us to make time for amusement--important things first.
It is only when we are shaken by events we cannot control or explain that we realize the opportunities to be our best selves can be lost forever. This week, I was rudely reminded of this human failing.
More than 25 years ago, I met a remarkable person who was to become one of my dearest friends. Our backgrounds could not have varied more widely. Nicole was from Belgium, but grew up in Washington, D.C., where her father was a diplomat. Pursuing a life's work that used her language skills and international experience, she spent her career with the World Bank and Global Environmental Fund. She traveled the world, eventually speaking eight languages, working on projects in many societies and cultures. After retiring, her expertise was called back into practice as a consultant to these agencies.
Fortunately, she always made time to ski with me in Aspen, Colo., during the winter. After I retired from skiing, she did not wish to give up the experience, and purchased a time-share for skiing in the winter and hiking in summer. When I was in Washington this spring, she did not return my calls, which meant she was out of the country, or on one of her many adventure trips to exciting places. We did not get to have one of our endless lunches when we always learned new things about one another. I got busy when I arrived home and thought I had plenty of time for us to catch up later.
Coincidentally, the city shut down shortly after I arrived because of the virus. My one day at the museums was greeted by an announcement that it would be the final day of opening to the public. When I walked into the Museum of Natural History, the newly opened exhibit was titled "Epidemics and Extinctions." It takes one to two years to mount an exhibit--how could they know?
It was, unfortunately, portentous.
Last week, the foreboding part of this experience came to pass. I received a call that my friend had been in a serious auto accident in Aspen and was not going to make it. It seems that the driver of the car was killed instantly, and Nicole, the passenger, was on life support. She had been taken by ambulance to the local hospital, where it was learned the ICU was filled with covid-19 patients--a lamentable side effect of the virus epidemic. She was then airlifted to a hospital in another town, but did not survive the delay in care.
I learned, after her death, that Nicole had four older siblings who had perished in an accident when she was a child. Perhaps this explained her zest for life and desire to live every moment to the fullest. Sadly, her own life was cut short before she had time to fulfill all her adventurous dreams.
May I remind each reader that life will never be the same after this crisis. We have no idea what the "new normal" will be for us. What we must remember is that the time we have is precious. It gives us many opportunities for kindness, generosity, and the simple gestures that show our appreciation for others.
"There is no time to leave important words unsaid."--Paulo Coelho
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Carol P. Williams is executive director of Land Trust of Arkansas.