NORTHWEST ARKANSAS — In a previous column I spoke of letting the battle begin. Did it ever. After surviving the onslaught of eight-hour-a-day chemo for weeks, I really thought this battle would be more of a skirmish than an all-out assault. Wrong. For a few days, as much as I hate to admit it, I fell into the trap of having a pity party and seeds of doubt began to emerge from hidden places, much like the cancer cells that escaped the confines of my right lung.
About the time I was at the very lowest point in this portion of my treatment path, I received an e-mail from my good friend Barb Alderson. She had just completed her assignment that was called for in her Bible study fellowship lesson, which contained a quote from one of my favorite chapters of Isaiah: Chapter 43. Her e-mail led me once again to examine the facts about what was happening in my life.
Chapter 43 opens, she said, with these words: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; You are Mine!” The Lord says that as his people trust Him through times of trouble He will not leave them. Whatever the experience of those who belong to Him, He makes a promise using images that recall the historic Exodus event. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord Your God!”
The next sentence contained this question: “Are you in such a place right now?” It was as if she had discerned my deepest thoughts. “Are you struggling against fear?” Then she reminded me that God is not saying that trouble or harm will never come, but He is saying his people will never be apart from his sustaining, loving presence.
Her e-mail had such an impact on me that I then spent several hours rereading Isaiah and found example after example of how God showed mercy and compassion and how important it was to trust Him completely. Then, turning to prayer, I told God that I was in his hands and that whatever his plan for me had in store that I would not abandon that trust.
One final thought. I particularly liked the verses in Chapter 40 beginning at the 28th verse: “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint and strengthens the powerless. Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”
I had been thinking about the odds against me rather than the strength of my faith and the trust I had in God. I thank you Barb for those wonderful reminders. I certainly understand why pity parties take place, but for us who face seemingly endless adversity, the questions still remain to be answered: Trust in whom? Trust in what? Shalom!
Bob Haynes is a freelance writer. His column runs the second and fourth Mondays of each month.