LITTLE ROCK — Every generation has its distinguishing features, one of which in years to come surely will be cauliflower ear.
I think that's one reason today's portable telephone is about the size of a credit card and not much heavier. Technology took pity on what it had wrought and did what it could to control the damage.
The cell phone is so pervasive in today's society that there's hardly any society left. Back in the olden days, people got together for companionship. Whether chewing the fat and just hanging out, what interaction there was was with someone in the flesh.
Now where two or more are gathered, they're all talking on cell phones. But then, so are those who come to the grocery store or the mall or the restaurant alone.
My hearing isn't what it used to be, but it's better than most people I run into in public places are given to believe when they speak to me two or three times before being acknowledged. I'm neither deaf as a post nor anti-social, just conditioned to tune out people who wander up and down store aisles talking to the air.
I used to feel self-conscious about tooling down the road singing along with the radio when alone in the car, but now I figure anyone who notices will just think I'm having a spirited, hands-free conversation on my cell phone.
Not that anyone would notice. Most drivers are too busy talking on their own cell phones to pay attention to fellow motorists, as their inattentive driving attests. DWT-driving while telephoning-has replaced DWI as the biggest menace on the highway, and on the street and in the driveway, for that matter.
Living 10 to 15 minutes from work, depending on the traffic, sometimes I spend that time counting cell-phoners.The average of those so engaged is nine out of 10. It could be more. That's just the number of those who have to hold their cell phones.
And most people, I'm convinced, have to hold their cell phones. I mean they really have to hold their cell phones, like toddlers really have to hold a favorite toy or blankie. I know one fellow who can't even sit down to dinner at his house without a cordless phone to his left and a cell phone to his right.
On more than one occasion, he's called me up to say, "You'll never guess who I'm talking to right now! Old So-and-so!"
"Oh, really? When did he get to town?"
"Oh, he's not here, he's on my other phone!"
I've known smokers who had more trouble giving up the pipe between their teeth than the tobacco that went into it.They have nothing on cell-phone users, whose need for instant telephonic gratification is boundless. For them, no activity, no time, no place, however awkward or intimate, is a no-phone zone.
Except when in transit or on site, I called my mother every day the Lord sent until she died just to say hello. Indeed, this little ritual was important enough to both of us for me to invest in a cell phone of my own just in case. I think I even used it once or twice. But any time I called her outside the appointed time, her first thought was that something must be wrong. On the rare occasions she called me,her first words, always, were "Sis, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to tell you . . . ."
Now phones ring at all hours of the day and night all over the place. Once I went shopping with a friend and her daughter who kept in touch across the store via cell phone. When the three of us got together for a refreshment break, the conversation kept getting interrupted by their phones.
Although just about everybody has a cell phone these days, it has been my experience that the female of the species is more reliant on it than the male. Put four guys together, and one may take or make a quick call while they're socializing, but put four gals together and understand the new meaning of party line. And a very long party it will be for all concerned, too.
When I was a teen, the Princess
phone was all the rage, although,
truth be told, only one girl in our
group had one-an extension phone, true enough, but still a most prized possession with its sleek, modern lines and a dial that lighted up when you picked up the receiver. The best most of us could ever hope for was a cord long enough to reach from the living room to our bedroom and parents who didn't gripe too much about us tying up the only phone.
True enough, the phone was our lifeline, and all my friends spent hours on it, but it practically ceased to exist when we were together.
Want to reduce a grownup to mush today? Hide his cell phone. Not that you would ever be that cruel, but it's an agreeable thought, isn't it?
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Associate Editor Meredith Oakley is editor of the Voices page. The original version of today's column appeared on June 2, 2004.
Editorial, Pages 17 on 09/30/2009