It has been five years since the massacre at Parkland's Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School claimed 17 lives, an observance that is different from previous ones.
This milestone is the first since loved ones of those lost were able to leave the very public stage that has been their cage since Feb. 14, 2018.
While there are cases related to the shooting still moving through the legal system, the prosecution and sentencing of the killer concluded 15 weeks ago. This ended five years of high-profile investigations, legal controversies and political debate that kept the victims' families in the news and their faces on screens seen by both neighbors and strangers around the world -- a cycle of pain and frustration on top of unthinkable grief.
For most of the families, this ended their time as reluctant public figures in the harsh glare of the media spotlight: No longer will they feel obligated to endure courtrooms, cameras and questions from reporters.
They have begun to live private lives as best they can. The lives tragedy has left them with for the rest of their days.
The final time the families gathered at the Broward County Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale, on Nov. 2, was to offer personal statements before Broward Circuit Judge Elizabeth Scherer imposed a sentence on the killer. This would be their final public group appearance related to the case.
With raw, emotional expressions, they spoke -- many who had rarely if ever been heard from -- holding a light to illuminate lives cut short and brighter days as they remembered them, while also describing what it means to exist, day by day, in endless sorrow.
Scherer was astonished: "The way that you have grieved so gracefully is something I have never seen. ... When people remember that school, they are going to remember the strength of that community."
There is no right way to grieve after the horror of Valentine's Day 2018. It can be done with grace, or rage, or a complicated combination of both.
'I WISH NO PEACE FOR YOU'
Lt. Ines Hixon, a Navy pilot, held the hand of husband Tommy as she addressed the court and the killer on Nov. 1. She described being on an aircraft carrier off the coast of Iran when she got the news that Tommy's father, Stoneman Douglas High School athletic director and Navy veteran Chris Hixon, was dead.
"As I stood and stared off the coast of Iran, and defended everyone in this country through my service, I thought I was the one in danger. But it was my family being slain back home," she said. "I took an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic. And, to the defendant, that is exactly what I view you as, a domestic terrorist."
But in her tearful but disciplined outrage, Hixon also shared moments of mercy, recounting a conversation with her husband: "[He] said, 'I just wish the killer had talked to my dad. I wish he had reached out to him, because my dad would have shown him the love that he so desperately needed. My dad would have given him the guidance and support that every other person failed to give him.'"
'WE HAD TO BE QUIET'
Jennifer Guttenberg, who lost 14-year-old daughter Jaime, spoke in response to Broward County Public Defender Gordon Weekes' statement that "nobody had to endure what this defense team had to endure."
"Let me just tell everybody what our families have had to endure," Guttenberg said, husband Fred at her side. "For those of you who don't know, there were many rules and restrictions for our families. We were not to wear colors, like orange for my daughter, or advertising types of clothing or gear related to our loved ones ...
"Let me remind everyone again, as other people have, who's important here: Jaime Guttenberg, my beautiful daughter, Nicholas Dworet, Luke Hoyer, Joaquin Oliver, Gina Montalto, Alaina Petty, Cara Loughran, Meadow Pollack, Alex Schachter, Peter Wang, Martin Duque, Carmen Schentrup, Helena Ramsay, Alyssa Alhadeff, Chris Hixon, Scott Beigel and Aaron Feis, along with the 17 injured and thousands of others affected. I never want to hear the killer's name again. Let us remember the victims and their legacy. My daughter is Jaime Guttenberg. She is forever 14. And she is amazing, still."