Leah Collins will be the first to tell you the reason she canceled her wedding six weeks from the big day.
"We ended up calling it off due to various reasons, but largely because of financial incompatibility," she says.
Now Collins is making a name for herself as a premarital financial coach by helping other couples think critically about their respective approaches to money and figure out their habits and goals well before they reach the point that it becomes difficult to turn back.
"During the relationship, I tried to have those conversations," Collins says. "But I didn't know how to have those conversations. Neither one of us did, and it was always really uncomfortable. We just didn't have those until the very last minute. That's when we realized this probably won't work out."
You may have seen Collins discuss financial literacy on Bloomberg Quicktake, "The Table with Anthony O'Neal" or by following her on Instagram, where more than 10,000 people do. As her speaking engagement list grows and she develops a product line of workshop-like resources, it seems like her following will continue to grow, too.
Collins even filmed a pilot for a reality TV show with Lionsgate in which she helps couples facing money problems identify what's holding them back and work through what they need to do to resolve those issues. She's doing her best to keep others from repeating her own experience.
"Once you're in the marriage, there's only so much you can do," she says. Collins prefers working with folks even before they get engaged to prevent awkward, contentious points. "There's a stigma with calling off the wedding. We had spent a significant amount of money ... already. It's just a lot harder. You start ignoring red flags, because you've set this date.
"That's why I tried to have those conversations as soon as possible. Even as a single person, it's still important to know as you're dating."
LET'S TALK ABOUT MONEY
If you're not sure where to begin, Leah Collins says you might start by talking about your own financial situation. In her case, she's trying to sell a house that she owns in Washington, D.C. If she's on a date, that could naturally lead to a conversation about the other person's real estate holdings or their job. Even general discussions of current events and the state of the economy could be an easy entry to the ordinarily hard-to-bring-up topic, she says, or lead to discussions closer to what you want to learn more about in a potential partner.
Collins works with individuals, couples and even groups of couples and prefers the group dynamic for its tendency to take the pressure off and ease any pitfalls of blame.
"In a group session, people feed off of each other, they learn from each other," she says. They can look around the room and find people who have either made similar missteps or relate to a general way of thinking about money. Then they may not feel quite so defensive and be more likely to open up and absorb something new. "They're building that community and learning from each other, not just me."
That way "it's not so personal, then we can navigate that a little better."
A lot of times, people come to Collins wanting to know how to approach topics of money management with their partners or ask for advice in combining their financial mindsets. She starts them out with thinking more closely about how they were raised -- how money was spent and talked about in their household, what their parents did with it, because, she says, that has a huge effect on how someone manages it in adulthood.
"We'll talk about your goals, your vision, who's the spender, who's the saver and make sure they're completely transparent with their finances," Collins says. "Each person has to tell what are my assets, what are my liabilities, what are my obligations and what is my income."
If one person has been married before, those obligations in the form of child support and/or alimony are a crucial part of the conversation. But she also encourages prenuptial agreements and examines attitudes around gender roles that may look different from one couple to the next.
One of the biggest reasons to discuss it in such detail is that you might be surprised at the answers, even if you've been together quite a while, as happened in her case.
"In my relationship, we always functioned a certain way when we were dating, but (he had) something different in mind for when we got married," Collins says. "I had no idea."
A huge impact on perspective can be a cultural difference, whether you've grown up in different parts of the world or were raised under a different religious belief system.
"Now there's more interracial relationships, people are marrying from different cultures and religions, and that can look very different," she says. While Collins' ex-fiance was a Black Nigerian-American and she is a Black American, there were still plenty of opposing views about how money was made, spent and saved. She can no longer recommend that you assume anything.
Collins has been coaching others on financial matters since 2018 and honed in on the premarital aspect of that in 2020. She has seen a bit of everything, but lack of transparency is a common problem, such as hiding a significant amount of credit card debt or a gambling habit. That's why she recommends pre-nups to everyone. It forces honesty, she says.
In the case of couples in which one person comes from a collectivist culture, where they focus on the betterment of everyone or their whole family rather than just themselves, and the other comes from an individualist culture like Americans do, the two simply need to come to an arrangement they're both comfortable with.
"There's just a huge difference there, and it has to be talked about; that's something a lot of people don't think about until they're in the situation," Collins says. "There's not necessarily a right or wrong (there), but you just have to figure out what works for you, what's your normal."
WHAT'S A BUDGET TO DO
Leah Collins was in second grade when she got her first taste of a family household budget.
She had just asked for some back-to-school clothes and shoes, but her mom told her that they couldn't afford it. Both her parents had been in the military, but that year her mother was staying at home to offset the cost of afterschool childcare and earning her degree so that she could work in finance herself. Money was tight for a phase.
"She sat me down and actually broke down our budget," Collins says. Turns out that her dad wasn't being cheap, as little Leah suspected he might be. He was frugal in the way he acted with lights being turned on in the house and pointing out things that cost money. "She showed us, 'This is our income, and the house expenses that came out of it' and at the end of the month... it was $20 or $30 was all that was left -- and it terrified me.
"I did not want to ask for anything."
When they did get new clothes, they weren't name-brand items, and one year her parents told Collins and her brother that Santa would only be able bring two presents that season. It would be years before her mother realized the lasting impact that family budgeting session had on Leah, when she watched the Bloomberg Quicktake segment she appeared on.
Aside from being careful with money, another big focus of their household was education.
Each day, Collins' father ran flashcards with her after he got home from work, eager to make sure she was learning to read. Even in the summertime, she and her brother had a home-assigned curriculum, always working through a workbook of "Everything Your Fifth Grader Should Know" and all its other volumes.
The result was that Collins grew up loving school and wanted to be involved in everything, every club and activity. She played clarinet in the band, participated in color guard and earned a spot in Mu Alpha Theta, the high school math honor society. When her brother began Junior Statesmen of America, a club in which teenagers drafted legislation and did mock legislative sessions at the Texas state capital, she joined that too.
"She was very smart, studious ... focused on her studies and doing well in school," says Levi Winn, a friend since those school days. They worked on the youth mayoral advisory council together, where they gained experience in debate while learning city alderman duties in a mock city government setting. "Leah very much has a mindset to 'If it's happening, it's happening,' and is not easily influenced by others' opinions.
"She cares deeply. If you get to know her a little bit, it comes out."
By about high school graduation, Collins was facing a choice. Should she go to University of Texas at Austin or Texas Tech University? She went with Tech because her best friend was headed there and started out with a major of broadcast journalism because she loved "Entertainment Tonight" and wanted to be on the hit TV show. Her curiosity for all things meant she had more than a few majors, but eventually landed in finance due to her mother's influence. She knew she'd have plenty of work opportunity in the field after having seen her mom work in the banking industry.
OPPORTUNITIES MADE AND FOUND
All through her school years, Collins worked to contribute to covering her expenses. Her very first job was McDonald's, which she didn't enjoy, then Luby's, a popular chain in Texas. The affordable, cafeteria-style restaurant drew an older crowd, and she didn't mind the work.
In college, Leah was hyper aware of the amount of student debt she would acquire and worked constantly to offset it. She worked in the dining hall, and then found a gig at a local daycare. She set her classes for Tuesdays and Thursdays and worked long hours all the rest of the days.
A stint with the university's Office of Annual Giving, where she made calls to alumni to request donations, was her least favorite job to date. Still, it taught her a few things about going above and beyond on assignments, the importance of documentation and how easily events can color your interactions with coworkers.
Patrice Marshall met Collins while they were in college but grew closer to her after their graduation, when they both headed to the Dallas area for their first professional gigs.
"She was driven, goal-oriented and trustworthy," Marshall says, noting that those qualities made Collins an outstanding maid of honor at her wedding later. "Leah is one of my most dynamic friends; she is so creative. She is an outside-the-box thinker and juggles many different things so gracefully.
"I am proud that she has put herself out there to be a leader, speaker and influencer ... she is the best at everything she puts herself into."
For a time, Collins debated going to law school, but she eventually changed her mind to save herself from a future of even more student debt and earned an MBA instead. Her first professional experience came in the form of an entry level sales position at a commercial lending company that she found on Monster.com.
"I remember getting the call and being so excited," she says. "I didn't have any other offers, but I told them, 'Oh, I'll think about it.' (Being) really calm. Then I called back trying to negotiate my salary."
That's a habit that Collins got into from the very start and says it's worked for every position she's had in the years since. The skill is something she gravitated toward naturally, but it helped that her dad always encouraged her that the worst that could happen is hearing a "No."
Friend Jay Stephens says he collaborated with Collins back when they both worked for Deloitte.
"Both of us wanted to become managers at Deloitte, which is no easy feat," he says. "For months, we developed our business case, shared resources and more. As a result we both achieved our goal ... it was an exciting feeling of success.
"I am glad to work with Leah because she is a strategic thinker. When she is presented with an opportunity, she analyzes the situation and quickly decides whether to pursue it."
In 2018, Collins began the groundwork for her personal finance business and launched it officially in January 2019. For the first couple of years, she was known as the Millennial Money Mentor. It was only after the engagement was called off that she rebranded with a focus on premarital finances.
Only a month into the business being official, Collins got an email from a representative of Lionsgate, who told her the concept of a new show and said they wanted her to be the talent.
"I thought it was a joke," she says. But the emails kept coming, so she sought the advice of her cousin, who is an entertainment attorney in Atlanta and vetted the interaction. The offer was legitimate. Even still, "I kept telling them 'No, I don't really work with couples, I'm not a good fit."
After some details were settled, though, Collins signed a contract, flew to L.A. and started filming.
"I still had a million excuses as to why it wouldn't work," she says. I had "a lot of imposter syndrome. I had just started at that point and didn't know what I was doing."
But more and more, she's figuring that all out and helping others, too.
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Listen Here!
Hear more of the conversation with Leah Collins in a podcast hosted by April Wallace at nwaonline.com/49collins/
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Leah Marie Collins
Self Portrait
Family: My 2-year-old daughter.
Profession: Premarital financial coach. I also work as a finance manager at Lockheed Martin.
How I'm already teaching my child about money: When we go to the grocery store, I give my daughter her own money and her own grocery cart so she can choose her own items and pay for them.
A favorite spot in Northwest Arkansas: Blake Street House.
New hobby I'm looking to get into: Mountain biking.
Something you may not know about me: I'm learning how to swim; I never learned how. My daughter and I are learning at the same time.
One of my goals is: to build generational wealth. I'm putting everything into place that my daughter won't have to start from scratch, she'll have a head start.
If a client divulges a huge gambling habit shortly before their big day, what do you recommend? Therapy. I have a list of therapists I work with and recommend they would go to, because that's above me. (Since so many financial issues have to do with relationship issues) I do deal with communication, trust, things of that nature and give them resources they can use.
Why I think a prenup is good for anyone: Many people think that a prenup is to protect what you have coming into the marriage ... but most states will protect what you have prior to marriage. A prenup is for your marital assets, which you accumulate during the marriage. It forces you to have those conversations because you have to divulge all your personal financial information. No one hopes that they need it, but they might at some point, and it's just nice to have.
What do you wish more people knew about managing their money: The biggest is that you should do what works for you. Who cares what others are doing?
"I am glad to work with Leah because she is a strategic thinker. When she is presented with an opportunity, she analyzes the situation and quickly decides whether to pursue it." — Friend Jay Stephens (Courtesy Photo)