I rarely write a column these days. Too many other demands on my time have come with technology. But there are a couple of times a year I really want to take a minute or two to just chat with all of y'all.
This holiday season and the arrival of another uncertain new year have been particularly fraught with so many emotions -- wanting everything to be perfect, knowing it won't be, hoping next year will be one of health and safety, not fear and pandemic.
During those middle-of-the-night, can't-sleep, let's-worry-about-everything hours, two things keep me sane: cross stitching and old friends -- in this case, the ones found in books, which were my first companions as an only child. Among the names that pop up regularly is Robert Heinlein, the father of science fiction, whose approach to life has colored so many of my attitudes about so many things.
For many years, I have turned to Heinlein for my new year's "resolutions." Longtime readers of this newspaper should know these words by heart, because I've reprinted them here many times over many years. Heinlein almost certainly didn't consider excerpts from the notebooks of his most famous character, Lazarus Long, "resolutions." He denied they were wisdom, for that matter. But what he wrote in "Time Enough for Love" (1973) is better than anything I could ever think up myself:
Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.
Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.
A generation which ignores history has no past -- and no future.
If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.
Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. (Circumstances can force your hand. So think ahead!)
A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
The more you love, the more you can love -- and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
Sovereign ingredient for a happy marriage: Pay cash or do without. Interest charges not only eat up a household budget, awareness of debt eats up domestic felicity.
Another ingredient for a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries first!
And another: In a family argument, if it turns out you are right -- apologize at once!
Keep your children short on pocket money -- but long on hugs.
Happy New Year!
Becca Martin-Brown is an award-winning columnist and Features editor for the Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. She can be reached at [email protected].