"We're not bad or 'troubled.' We just need people to show us how this all works. Like, I didn't know where to go to get my license or how to open a bank account. It's real life stuff that your parents taught you, and nobody taught us."
"I learned that I actually do get to have choices and that I am not just what has happened to me. I get to decide who I'm going to be. Nobody else."
"I am worth more than the way I've been treated."
"I want to come back one day and mentor a kid like me and help him."
These thoughts come from young men who are clients of Micah's House, a nonprofit founded in 2015 by Shane Sturdivant. This year, Micah's House introduces the Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette's annual holiday wish list, a chance for area nonprofits to tell our readers what they need from Santa.
Like this writer, many of those readers might know Sturdivant as the actor with the beautiful voice and open, trusting face from community theater productions such as "A Comedy of Tenors," "Mamma Mia" and "Les Miserables."
"I've had the privilege of doing community theater in several cities over the past 20 years, and I have especially loved my experiences here in Northwest Arkansas," he said before "A Comedy of Tenors" this fall at Arkansas Public Theatre. "I would say that my most challenging role has been Valjean in 'Les Mis.' It stretched me vocally as well as diving into such an amazingly complex character."
But ask Sturdivant to talk about his most challenging role in real life, and he is both passionate and eloquent. After his own rough start and several years in church ministry -- where he just never found the right "fit" -- Sturdivant set out to change the lives of young men not so different from himself.
"I have fought hard in my own life to break the cycles of poverty and addiction, and I struggled immensely as a young adult. My mother died when I was 9 and my father at 26, which sent my addiction into hyperdrive," Sturdivant relates of his own life. "Most of my boys have suffered far worse, but I think I relate well to them in their feelings of loneliness, forgottenness and a lost sense of identity."
The clients of Micah's House are 18 to 25 years old and don't have a support system, Sturdivant begins the explanation.
"Approximately half of the young men we serve come out of traditional foster care, and then there's this whole group of kids who I call the 'forgotten youth.' They've been flying under the radar: sleeping on couches, in tents in the woods, caught up in the criminal justice system."
The boy who has most shaped his mission, Sturdivant says, is one who became his son: Rocky.
"If I were to compile all the bad from all the different situations I've worked in, it still wouldn't touch the level of trauma Rocky has experienced," he says. "Born addicted to meth, father in prison for murder, 15-year-old mother completely strung out, introduced to drugs at 7, sexually abused and raped. Then abused, labeled, institutionalized, ignored and completely failed" by the foster care system.
"It still amazes me that he has any light left," Sturdivant says of his son. "That he keeps trying. He is the catalyst behind why we do what we do. There are so many unique and heartbreaking stories. These boys have changed my perspective on so many things, and they keep me humble and give me so much hope for what can be achieved when we let go of our preconceptions and just learn to love each other well."
Micah's House can serve eight to 10 young men in its residential facility, where "their length of stay largely depends on them" but on average, is nine to 18 months, Sturdivant explains. "The goal is to get them into an independent living situation while they're still tethered to us, and we can walk with them through the obstacles and learning curves of that first 12 months at least. In large part, they never really leave us. We become their family."
Along the way, the young men participate in "Thrive," which Sturdivant describes as "a program for learning life skills, practicing budgeting and completing the general 'life list': driver's license, savings account, identity documents (most do not have these when they arrive). We also connect our boys to mentors and other healthy relationships to create a sense of community and family. Ideally, these relationships continue and grow throughout their lives."
Micah's House is the perfect example of the Northwest Arkansas nonprofits who have wish lists not just at Christmas but year-round, organizations that need everything from paper towels to people.
"Obviously our biggest need is money," Sturdivant says. "But we believe that small, targeted solutions are the only long-lasting way to, over time, truly transform big systemic and systematic problems. So we want to partner with smaller monthly donors ($25-$100) who want to see their impact in real time.
"We are also always in need of paper goods, shampoo/conditioner, body wash, cleaning products and dry pantry goods like ramen noodles and protein bars. We keep a needs list on our website: micahshousenwa.org. We also need volunteers to help with office work, marketing, house cleaning and updating, as well as mentors to walk alongside our guys."
Asked why anyone should help Micah's House, one of the young men says simply: "Because we deserve a chance to get it right." We hope that our annual wish list gives us all that opportunity.
__
Micah's House Northwest Arkansas
Address: 1110 W. Elm St. in Rogers
Mission: Equipping young men who have aged out of foster care to discover hope, healing, identity and a place to belong.
Needs: $10 gift cards to fast food, Walmart or Casey's General Stores; individual snack items; twin sheet sets; twin comforters; 13-gallon trash bags; men's socks (new); men's undershirts (new); men's underwear (new).
Website: MicahsHouseNWA.org
Contact information: Shane Sturdivant at (479) 282-0928 or email [email protected]
__
Also seeking assistance this holiday season are:
Northwest Arkansas Food Bank
Address: 1378 June Self Drive in Bethel Heights
Mission: Nourishing Northwest Arkansas communities by feeding the hungry with partnerships with more than 160 member agencies to reach out to those in need.
Needs: Monetary donations help us purchase food to distribute. We also need peanut butter, rice (brown and white), dried beans, canned tuna and chicken, canned vegetables (no salt) and whole grain cereal.
Website: nwafoodbank.org
Contact information: Kent Eikenberry, director, 872-8774 or [email protected]
__
CASA of Northwest Arkansas
Address: 3825 Cawood Lane in Springdale
Mission: Court Appointed Special Advocates of Northwest Arkansas provides compassionate volunteers who advocate for abused and neglected children.
Needs: Holiday presents for children ages newborn to 20 years old -- specifically, art kits, Legos, board games, wallets, makeup kits, watches, gift cards for fast food, game stores or retail stores.
Website: nwacasa.org
Contact information: Shelley Hart, program director, (479) 725-2213 or email [email protected].
__
Northwest Arkansas Children's Shelter
Address: 14100 Vaughn Road in Bentonville
Mission: To provide a safe haven, high-quality care and hope for the future for children who have been abandoned, abused or neglected.
Needs: Paper towels, toilet paper, nitrile gloves, copy paper, photo paper, 13-, 30- and 33-gallon trash bags, gas gift cards, Walmart gift cards.
Website: nwacs.org
Contact information: Raegin Callaway, corporate volunteer and events manager, (479) 795-2417, ext. 310, or email [email protected]
NAN Our Town on 11/21/2019