Editor's note: Mike Masterson is taking the day off. The original version of this column was published Dec. 18, 2010.
Why do we take for granted those who truly care for us while catering to others who'd be long gone once we inconvenienced them?
Lack of respect for each other is a serious problem that ought to be prompting concern in adults who've lived enough life to have learned from it.
The level of disrespect for parents often soars when our precious little cuties reach adolescence. Something occurs that makes lots of teenagers believe they're somehow entitled.
Their rude response, "I know," when adults try to offer loving advice shows how deep this ugliness can run. Fact is, the young people who are kept comfortable, even spoiled, by the sweat of their parents' brows don't know diddly about much of anything. Yet they believe they can simply dismiss the opinions and needs of those who've reared them.
A friend told me about his teenage child who called him for help, but then wouldn't let him finish a sentence, repeatedly interrupting ol' Dad with dismissive comments. Exasperated, he finally just hung up.
It's not that young humans are bad. Most will turn out to be responsible adults who will face the same disrespect when they're parents. And to be fair, a lot of adults too often fail to show sufficient respect for others. Some self-centered teens become self-centered 50-year-olds.
So why does all this raging disrespect matter? I say it tears away at the very fabric of society, and there may come a tipping point where more disrespect exists among us than respect simply because we've accepted it. Should that occur, we are lost.
Brian Bailey, a pastor at New Heights Church in Fayetteville who has wisely counseled many troubled folks over the years, believes respect is the critical key to any relationship but particularly a healthy matrimonial union.
"Respect is addressed in the scriptures for a specific reason," he said. "Husbands should love their wives, and wives are to respect their husbands. When respect is missing, all the destructive qualities like sarcasm, criticism and ridicule are left."
I'll bet the majority of assaults and domestic-abuse cases stem from one person's perception that he is being disrespected, whether true or not.
Admittedly, I'm a dinosaur raised in the era when we were expected to respectfully address adults as "ma'am" or "sir." We never thought of interrupting adults in conversation. There were several boundaries of respect back in the day.
But those began fading in recent decades. I can't say why society decided that respect for one other was no longer a worthwhile value, but it badly needs a resurrection for all our sakes.
That leads me into a somewhat related topic, the revolutionary social media, a bathrobe, pajama or plain-clothes world where impersonal electrons do our communicating rather than our expressions, eyes and voices.
I agree with enhancing communication between people. Any society communicating via the Internet can make for a stronger republic and a much better informed democracy.
But as Michael Collins of Fayetteville says, despite its immense popularity, Facebook is a superficial reality where you make supposed "friends" before you meet them face to face, if ever. You actually know nothing about them, their agendas or their backgrounds other than they also can afford a laptop and probably a high-dollar, Internet-connected cell phone.
And that can open a door into all forms of danger and damaging misinformation as well as positive interactions. Social media, texting, cell phones and computers, while offering instant communication, can be deadly when they divert a driver's attention, spread lies and slanders, or connect sexual predators with curious teenagers.
While this wondrous technology keeps loved ones in touch and enhances long-distance communication, it also can rudely interrupt or stifle communication with those right beside you. Which interaction becomes a priority for the users in those moments? It forces them to choose one over the other.
As exhibit A, I introduce an advice column by Carolyn Hax in which an exasperated wife is seriously considering an end to her marriage because her husband's attention had become consumed by an Xbox game. The meaningful experiences they'd previously shared ended when he began spending nearly every waking hour, even with friends visiting, preoccupied with that irrelevant game. He may not even have realized that his diversion was screaming to those around him, "This material possession is more important than relating with you in the limited time we have!"
These forms of electronic diversions are bound to be straining many connections as they forge addictions to the stimulation of constant feedback, too often at the expense of face-to-face relationships.
Mike Masterson is a longtime Arkansas journalist, was editor of three Arkansas dailies and headed the master's journalism program at Ohio State University. Email him at [email protected].