Worthwhile lesson: You can't always get what you want
Good Morning America recently reported a high school in the United Kingdom banned students from wearing coats made by Canada Goose, Moncler and Pyrenex. Some of the coats cost between $350 and $1,200. The principal of the school said parents of students asked for the ban.
The purpose for banning the expensive coats was because students who couldn't afford them "feel stigmatized," "left out" and "inadequate." This is referred to as poverty shaming or poverty proofing. However, not having the same as others is a fact of life. School officials said they were also very concerned about students putting a lot of pressure on parents to buy the expensive coats.
Erika Souter, editor of mom.me, said we run the risk of sheltering kids too much from the real world. I raised four boys who were all active in school and sports. They always wanted the newest sporting accessories. They asked for the most expensive jeans and the most popular athletic shoes. The problem was we couldn't afford these items and my kids would have to depend on lesser brands and used equipment. I remember in particular when Air Jordan basketball shoes came out. All of my boys wanted a pair and several of their friends had them. The problem was they coast about $160 and we couldn't afford one pair, let alone four.
Family psychologist/author John Rosemond, in his column in the Democrat-Gazette, often writes about good parenting and teaching children to think properly. My children were disappointed that we couldn't purchase these items for them but they understood and life went on. They didn't feel inadequate or poverty shamed. Yes, I'm sure they were envious but definitely wouldn't want their friends to do without just because we couldn't afford the expensive items.
Being poverty shamed is a new convention that didn't even exists back then. My boys understood that we couldn't afford some of the things they wanted but they learned valuable life lessons, such as, you can't always get what you want; you have to work for the things you want; a good education is one way to acquire the things you want in life; and that material things do not always lead to happiness.
I have to laugh at the thought that the school was concerned about the pressure students put on their parents. There wasn't any pressure on my parents to purchase the things I wanted as a kid just like there was no pressure on me to purchase the things my children wanted. It was simple: No, we can't afford it.
Kids are indulged today. Parents no longer focus on the needs of their kids, but rather the wants they have. The reality is that life is difficult and we should be preparing kids to meet its challenges. Parents and school officials who cater to making everything equal or poverty proofing are doing these kids and their parents a disservice. This kind of society only looks good on paper, but doesn't work. Their names are socialism and communism.
Terry Stewart
Springdale
Commentary on 12/04/2018