You know that saying "Cat got your tongue?"
Well, on a recent night, I was wishing I got theirs.
I was eating leftovers. Meanwhile, fancy furballs Kate and Pippa were feasting on Lobster & Mac 'N' Cheese.
That's when I realized my animals not only eat better than I do, they're living my best life. Which you can see on their Instagram page: instagram.com/kate_n_pippa/.
I was having cold pizza out of the box -- is there any other way? -- and they were dining on the feline equivalent of Ruth's Chris Steak House.
The Lobster & Mac 'N' Cheese is a version of Friskies Party Mix Tender Crunchy Cat Treats. Here's the description from Chewy.com:
"This recipe contains pieces that feature a crunchy outside with a tender inside, creating a sensational treat experience your cat will flip head over paws for. The combination of real cheese and savory seafood flavors brings added yum to every bite, while the playful shapes let your cat know the fun is just getting started. With so much goodness in every bite, these cat treats offer a perfect way to celebrate her unending loyalty and friendship."
Is there no kitty Champagne to go with it?
Actually there is. Pet Winery has a variety of nonalcoholic drinks for the felines and the canines. Included in the cat collection: Meow & Chandon. There's also Purrgundy, Meowsling and the Cat-Tini.
So I feel like a bad mom now that I wasn't able to create a Meow-mosa drink in time for the girls' brunch.
Yes, brunch. In the form of Friskies Party Mix Tender Crunchy Chicken & Waffles Cat Treats.
Here's the Chewy.com description: "With flavors worthy of a weekend brunch, these cat treats give your feline friend a taste of what she's been missing at the family table. This recipe pairs real chicken with the flavor of waffles for a dynamic duo that satiates your cat's need for novelty. The bite-size treats stimulate her senses with pieces that feature a crunchy exterior and tender inside, offering a contrast of textures she can sink her teeth into. Every pouch includes a variety of fun shapes to encourage interaction, whether your cat shows her pleasure by purring, prancing or pouncing."
Need for novelty? Stimulated senses? Contrast of textures? Encourage interaction? After devouring them and taking no care to appreciate the touted nuances, they took their usual non-novel naps in their usual non-novel places.
And while my cats had their dynamic, stimulating, fun chicken and waffles, I ate nothing (darn this intermittent fasting experiment -- another column for another time). Not even cold pizza.
Pet owners, it's time for us to "paws" and reflect on the reality that we treat our animals better than we do ourselves.
Further proof that could have us stewing: soup for cats.
Friskies actually has a new line of Lil' Soups -- the "p" on the package is shaped like a spoon that cats can't very well use. Varieties include Tuna, Sockeye Salmon, Shrimp and Chicken and Butternut Squash, all in a "lickable" and "velvety chicken broth." According to Friskies.com: "Friskies Lil' Soups are intended for supplemental feeding only." So cats still require a meal in addition to the soup; meanwhile we lived solely on Cup-a-Soup and ramen noodles for most of your college years and early 20s.
If a meal with multiple courses doesn't end your cat's day on a high enough note, there's always Meowijuana.
Meowijuana Purrple Passion Catnip Buds make "a righteous gift for felines of any age or size -- yes, even your senior can let loose sometimes," according to Chewy.com. The jar "full of premium catnip, trimmed and picked by hand at the peak of essential oil production." But not CBD or THC oils. It's catnip and "not for human consumption." Meowijuana comes rolled, as well as in a spray.
But then we imagine the Meowijuana would give cats the munchies, and they'd get demanding for more Lobster & Mac 'N' Cheese and Chicken & Waffles treats.
So "weed" not recommend it.
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Style on 08/12/2018