When Tennessee Coach Butch Jones heard that his team was ranked in the preseason top 10, he seemed more peeved than pleased.
"One minute spent even thinking about that is a minute wasted that you could be working on your football team," he said.
If that's the case, the average American worker has wasted many hours. The AP preseason poll was released Sunday and millions of fans opted to think about what it means that Alabama is No. 1, and on down the line.
Coaches will tell you it means nothing.
That's true, at least if you want to know who will actually win the national championship.
It's false if you appreciate college football for what it really is -- an entertainment enterprise that takes our minds off more important things.
Call me shallow, but I'd much rather debate Alabama vs. Clemson than the U.S. presidential race. It's far less depressing, even if the outcome has already been determined.
News flash: The Crimson Tide will not win the national championship.
We know this because the AP preseason poll just picked them to win the national championship. This is the AP's 65th attempt at it, and voters have gotten it right all of 10 times.
Alabama has lost a Heisman Trophy winner, a starting quarterback, a Rimington Award winner and the SEC Defensive Player of the Year off last year's team. No problem. Voters figure Nick Saban will just roll out four more future NFL Hall-of-Famers.
They've figured that twice before with Saban teams. Both those preseason No. 1s fizzled. The 2010 team lost to eventual champ Auburn, which started the season No. 22.
Just last year, Ohio State became the first team in AP history to get all 61 votes. The Buckeyes finished No. 6, which looks good compared to TCU and Baylor.
The Horned Frogs started No. 2 and finished No. 13. The Bears were No. 4 at the start and staggered home at No. 23.
The Amway Coaches Poll isn't any better.
Last year, Houston received zero votes in the preseason poll. That was one fewer than UCF, which reportedly went 0-12. The Cougars went 13-1 and beat FSU in the Peach Bowl.
Neither major preseason poll has correctly picked the eventual winner since 2004. When it comes to picking winners, voters are like the Decca Recording Co. executive who said this about a band from Liverpool in 1962:
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
If I recall correctly, the Beatles went on to win both the AP and UPI polls that year. And that was when the AP and coaches polls actually crowned a national champion.
They still do, but nobody cares now that the College Football Playoff has come along. Has that made preseason polls as worthless as a politician's promise?
There's a difference between being inept and meaningless. The mere fact you've read this far shows preseason polls have value.
Sociologists can debate whether it's healthy for adults to obsess whether FSU's schedule is too tough or Les Miles will rise from the near-dead. Preseason polls are the first licks of that guitar music, which doesn't appear to be on the way out.
And what's the alternative, no polls until the College Football Playoff version debuts in November? That would be fine with guys like Jones.
"It's not where you start," he said, "it's where you finish."
It's also about all your passengers enjoying the trip. So what does Alabama being ranked No. 1 in preseason polls really mean?
Nothing, other than it's time to welcome back four months of meaningless fun.
Sports on 08/25/2016