Otus the Head Cat

Dinosaur exhibit a perfect fit for Clinton center

A life-size replica of a pastusaur, one of two, will guard the Clinton Presidential Center entrance during the “Dinosaurs Around the World” exhibit through Oct. 18.
A life-size replica of a pastusaur, one of two, will guard the Clinton Presidential Center entrance during the “Dinosaurs Around the World” exhibit through Oct. 18.

Dear Otus,

Pardon my ignorance, but what the heck does a stupid dinosaur exhibit have to do with Wild Bill's presidential library? Is the current exhibit a lame attempt to distract low-information voters from the nefarious influence peddling of the Clinton Foundation and Hillary's subterfuge and Benghazi blundering?

I bet you don't even answer this because you're a member of the liberal drive-by media.

-- Bill Dungsroman,

Maycomb

Dear Bill,

It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you. And you are pardoned for your ignorance, which can be easily cured. It's readily apparent you listen to way too much Rush Limbaugh to be healthy. I am in no way, shape, matter or form a member of the drive-by media. I can't even reach the pedals to drive.

To answer your question, unlike most presidential repositories, the Clinton Library is far more than a bunch of stuffy papers. It has something for everyone. In fact, its official name is the William J. Clinton Presidential Center and Park.

Granted, the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, Calif., does feature a pub, a Marine One helicopter and the very Air Force One used by seven presidents (Clinton only has a presidential limo). It also has Reagan's stuffed horse, El Alamein, but it doesn't have dinosaurs.

Not only does the Clinton Presidential Center have a library holding all the presidential archives, there's a five-star restaurant, a world-renowned school of public service, the Bridge to the 21 st Century Marina & Bait Shop, the William E. "Bill" Clark Presidential Wetlands (home of the world champion mudpuppy at 22 inches) and the award-winning Clinton Presidential Park Bridge.

There's also the Zeke and Buddy Memorial Urban Dog Park (featuring 143 fire hydrants from around the world), and in the basement "Jungle Room" on weekends there's the "Roger & Me Elvis Tribute Review," featuring legendary local Elvis impersonator Butch Dicus portraying Vegas Elvis, and Conway's Matt Joyce as young Elvis.

And, yes, the facility also holds the Little Rock offices of the Clinton Family Foundation.

The current dinosaur exhibit fits right in because plans for the Hillary Hurricane Coaster were scrapped in 2004 when dinosaur prints were uncovered at the construction site.

The sedulous guiding lights behind the presidential center could not believe their great serendipitous good fortune. On the seldom-seen northeast side of the grounds, workers installing pindo palms broke through to bedrock and made the significant paleontological discovery.

William "Raptor" Robison, head of the geology and paleontology department at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, was on site within an hour and pronounced the discovery a "historical find of global significance."

"The preserved footprints are the finest example of pack feeding of the Zygodactylous Quribundus Pastusaur found in North America," Robison said, giddy with excitement. "Scientists from all over the world will flock here just to bask in the moment."

The pastusaur, a 30-foot carnivore of the Neocomian era of the Cretaceous period, roamed what is now Arkansas about 130 million years ago.

The dinosaur is believed to have traveled in matriarchal herds of up to 200, using their clawed, zygodactyl hind limbs to eviscerate prey and dig shallow nesting sites, which they lined with the Cretaceous version of kudzu.

Officials quickly took steps to preserve the site for display, installing a skylight roof and elevated walkway over the bedrock.

Hargreaves Associates landscapers prepared the site to re-create a thematic garden that gives visitors a glimpse of what the library site looked like when dinosaurs roamed Little Rock.

The walkway ends at the scenic overlook that Clinton has chosen as his final resting place.

The "Dinosaurs Around the World" exhibit, with 13 replicas of dinosaurs placed throughout the library, will be up through Oct. 18.

Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that plaster casts of the pastusaur footprints are available for $9.95 at the Virginia Dell Cassidy Blythe Clinton Dwire Kelley Memorial Gift Shoppe next to the restaurant. Check out all the exciting gift ideas at clintonpresidentialcenter.com.

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Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. Email:

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HomeStyle on 05/16/2015

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