SPRINGDALE -- Parents Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of 19 Kids and Counting fame made one of the most common mistakes families make when addressing sexual misconduct in the home, experts say: They didn't immediately seek outside help.
"When we go to talk to families even about how to recognize child abuse and prevent it, we get a lot of push-back and fights. People don't even want to hear about this," said Daphne Young, spokesman for Childhelp. "So what do you think happens when they suddenly find themselves in that situation? They aren't prepared for it. Yet their natural instinct is to protect their family from outsiders. We've all heard horror stories of kids taken away for nothing."
Arkansas Child Abuse Hotline
(800) 482-5964
Young is vice president of communications and prevention education at the nonprofit corporation based in Phoenix. Childhelp maintains a national, 24-hour hotline to assist families dealing with such cases and other forms of abuse.
Janice Church, a psychology professor at the pediatrics department of the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences in Little Rock, agreed.
"Very few families have the counseling expertise to deal with a situation like this," Church said "It takes counseling expertise because everybody has a different reaction to what happened. It's complicated. You also have to have a safety plan, and for one of those to work, you have to have the experience."
"The first thing anyone in that situation should do is call the state's Child Abuse Hotline." The purpose of the hotline is primarily to get help, not report crime, she said.
The Duggars are stars of the TLC cable channel show, which drew 3.6 million viewers as recently as last month. Reruns of the show were pulled by the company after In Touch magazine released a report on May 21 that the oldest child, Josh Duggar, now 27, had been the subject of a Springdale police investigation that he fondled young girls in his home. TLC hasn't announced its plans for the show.
Duggar, then 14, revealed in March 2002 to his parents he had run his hands over young girls in the Duggar household as they slept, the parents revealed in an interview aired Wednesday by Fox News. The parents told the girls, disciplined Josh and took precautions but didn't seek outside assistance, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar said in the interview.
A request to Jim Bob Duggar for further comment Thursday wasn't returned.
The fact Josh Duggar confessed before anyone found out about the behavior and showed remorse gave them hope the young man would change his ways, the Duggars told Megyn Kelly of Fox News' The Kelly File.
Josh then admitted in July 2002 he took similar advantage of girls who had fallen asleep on the family couch. The Duggars told Kelly they punished him some more. After a third admission in March 2003 that he touched two girls while they were awake, the Duggars sought outside help.
By then, five girls including four sisters and a house guest had been fondled, the parents said.
"It's easy to armchair quarterback this issue when a famous case comes up, but do you know how to ensure your home is protected?" Young said. "You may think your kids know when they're being abused, but if you heard a professional talk to your children, you'd see a lot of gray areas of confusion. A lot of abuse could be stopped if people would learn what to look for."
"This is not a problem restricted to any group of people, like families who are conservative or the opposite," she said. "You'll find abuse cases in all walks of life."
Young was meeting with a church group once where the topic of abuse was causing some unease, she said. "The pastor got up and said, 'I know this isn't comfortable to talk about, but the devil is out there and the devil can walk in here. We're not going to let the devil in.' That's just about the best way of putting it I've heard."
After a meeting with his church elders in 2003, Josh was sent to a "mentor" who wasn't a trained counselor for three months, ending July 17, 2003, Jim Bob Duggar said. Counseling was given to all affected members of the family after Josh's return, Jim Bob Duggar said.
"We don't want families to manage these issues themselves, although we understand the instinct," Young said. "Bringing in outside oversight is the best way for parents to get help and the children to get help."
Josh was taken to Arkansas State Police Troop L Headquarters in Springdale after he returned, but the state police corporal he confessed to didn't report the matter to the state's Child Abuse Hotline, as required by law. Springdale police investigated years later, in 2006, after the hotline received a tip. By then, the statute of limitations had run out on any possible criminal charges.
Bringing an outsider into such a situation isn't a natural response, Young and Church agreed. Families are naturally protective, even when a child is taking advantage of other members of the family, Church said.
Resistance to telling outsiders of the conduct is so strong, it's a serious obstacle to treating these problems, Young said. "It's a cliche, but the quicker you reveal, the quicker you heal," Young said.
Arkansas parents aren't mandatory reporters required to call the hotline. Others such as police and medical professionals are.
"So if a family doesn't want to call the hotline and has the resources to take their child to a counselor, that counselor is going to be a mandatory reporter," Church said. "They might as well make the call on their own."
Also Wednesday night, the Duggars called the release of the Springdale police records illegal. Springdale city attorney Ernest B. Cate issued a response Thursday:
"On 5/20/15, in full compliance with Arkansas law, the Springdale Police Department responded to a records request under the Arkansas Freedom of Information Act. The requested record was not sealed or expunged, and at the time the report was filed, the person listed in the report was an adult. Any names of minors included in the report, as well as pronouns, were redacted from the report by the Springdale Police Department in compliance with Arkansas law prior to release."
Doug Thompson can be reached by email at [email protected].
A Section on 06/05/2015