A conversation that might or might not have taken place with my youngest son (or completely in my head) while we were watching a certain very popular movie involving the galaxy far, far away ...
Me: "Which is where we had to park the car."
My youngest son: "Huh?"
Me: "Where we had to park the car. In a galaxy far, far away. That's a tie-in to the movie we're watching."
MYS: "Are you talking to me?"
Me: "Are you listening?"
MYS: "Not typically, but I thought I heard you ask if I wanted popcorn."
Me: "No, but I was pretty sure we were going to need food, a nap and probably a shave before we got through the line and into this movie. However, the costumes people were wearing were pretty funny."
MYS: "I don't think anyone was wearing a costume."
Me: "Wait, you're trying to tell me people just dress like that? Next you'll want me to believe men actually wear pants with elastic on the bottoms. "
MYS: "Perhaps you should get out a little more. I mean, do you even remember anything about these movies?"
Me: "I'm pretty sure I do, but if I had forgotten, the guy in back of us who explained, in painstaking detail, major plot points of all 26 of these clued me in."
MYS: "There are only six of them."
Me: "Really? Because there seemed to be enough plot points for a lot more. Maybe he worked some 'Game of Thrones' episodes in there. However, I'm not really sure I remember exactly what The Force is."
MYS: "It's the all-encompassing power that permeates everything and is everywhere."
Me: "I thought that was Adele."
MYS: "Not even close."
Me: "Well, I'm pretty sure 'Hello' is starting to be used for evil."
MYS: "Nope. The Force is a power harnessed by the Jedi. That's why they carry light sabers."
Me: "That's it? I thought they were just super-convenient. I mean, look, it appears the Bad Guy there has a lighter in the handle. I see the big light-whatevers. Do they have smaller ones you can, like, open a letter with and that have a corkscrew attachment?"
MYS: (Long pause) "No."
Me: "OK, so what's the big evil contraption they've got there?"
MYS: "It's called the Death Planet."
Me: "What's the difference between it and the Death Star?"
MYS: "It's a lot bigger."
Me: "Because, if something is a spectacular failure and blows up and wipes out all your evil army, the logical decision is to make it bigger? Is Commander Wile E. Coyote getting this thing from Acme?"
MYS: "But this time they've gotten the bugs out and it might work."
Me: "Which would mean no sequels and Lucasfilms wouldn't get the chance to print dollar bills in the basement. So, I'm thinking there is a fatal design flaw somewhere."
MYS: "Do you not like the movie at all?"
Me: "Actually, I've very much enjoying it. And I hear there were a lot of stars who did cameos in this. The guy who was James Bond is a storm trooper and some comedians were in the bar scene and look, there's Donald Trump."
MYS: "That's Chewbacca."
Me: "Oh, well ... hum ... same hair ... so, have we figured out why all bad guys speak with British accents? Besides, you know, the fact that they're British?"
MYS: "British is the default evil accent. Whenever you want to make sure everyone understands the bad guy(s) isn't/aren't from around here, you give them British accents. Confirms their 'other-ness' while still allowing us to mostly understand what they say."
Me: "At least until they start talking about loos and lifts and driving on the wrong side of the road. Well, it's a little freaky. I mean, I don't think anyone has had this much trouble with British people in funny hats since the American Revolution. "
MYS: "Again, are you even enjoying this?"
Me: "Actually, I'm loving it. These movies were cultural phenomenons when I was younger, and I don't think it's too much to suggest they helped form the opinions of much of my generation about good, evil and the dangers allowing anger and hate to control you. And at this time of your life and this time in the world when there is so much anger and hate, it's really gratifying for me to know they may serve to help teach you and your generation those same lessons. And I love this is an experience we get to share together, knowing there may not be many more times like this before you're out of the house and on your own ..."
MYS: "Sorry. Were you talking? They were blowing something up and I didn't hear."
Me: "I was asking if you wanted popcorn."
Commentary on 12/25/2015