Unless you've been living under a rock for the last few weeks -- and even then, I imagine the icy images would have found their way under your slab -- you've likely heard of the "Ice Bucket Challenge." If you haven't -- maybe you're an Unfrozen Cave Man Lawyer, I'm not here to judge -- it's a bunch of people ostensibly trying to bring attention to Lou Gehrig's disease by dumping freezing water over their heads. For all its faults, at least that step in logic makes sense.
As the Internet viral storm has strengthened, moving from hip people to the not-so-hip, as all viral storms do, the Ice Bucket Challenge has ensnared such luminaries as the second President Bush, LeBron James, and, according to Facebook, several of my lesser aunts and uncles. As viral trends go, it's far outpacing Ebola; let's at least stipulate that.
Among those with an eyebrow-raised opinion of the Ice Bucket Challenge, the strongest complaint anyone seems brave enough to lodge is that the whole thing is more about ego than charity. And anyone whose Facebook feed has fed them a steady stream of IBC videos for the past week would have to agree. Whatever altruistic flag one plants in the ground before dumping a bucket of ice water over his head -- "Yeah, ALS research!!! ;)" -- the sentiment is undercut when it's blasted out on social media. And nominating three friends to do the same isn't crowdsourcing; it's a peer-pressure Ponzi scheme.
There's no doubt that amyotrophic lateral sclerosis is a terrible disease that ruins lives, but so are a host of other maladies. Similarly, breast cancer is a terrible killer that has touched literally every one of our lives through someone close. But does dumping a bucket of ice over your head or walking a 5K do anything to slow down the spread of those diseases? Of course not.
There's certainly something to be said for a large group of people getting together to recognize that, yeah, breast cancer and ALS suck. There's a community aspect to these events that's undeniably valuable, especially to those currently suffering or on their way to recovery. But so much of the industry around disease "awareness" -- as if someone might not have heard of Lou Gehrig's disease -- is just self-aggrandizement and fluff.
ALS has no demonstrated cause; there's nothing someone could do to mitigate its onset and there is no cure. So saying you're dumping water over your head to raise awareness begs the question, "Awareness of what?" If there aren't any lumps to encourage people to look for, then what, exactly does "awareness," um, do?
The answer posited in the think pieces I've read seeking to end-run those questions, is money. The Ice Bucket Challenge, they say, has raised X million dollars for research. And in a vacuum, I suppose that would be great.
But we don't live in a vacuum and only God knows -- literally -- how much research needs to be done to find a cure. Maybe there are other, more curable, less ice-buckety diseases where that money would go further. Not to mention that 24 cents of every dollar donated to the ALS Association gets siphoned off for administrative costs -- such is the nature of a modern-day charity.
Things like the Ice Bucket Challenge or other charity viral campaigns are nice in theory, but they're not nearly as shiny when you take the opportunity costs into consideration. If you really care about Lou Gehrig's disease, leave the ice in the freezer, let the ALS Association worry about their own bills, and give your cash to someone who's actually suffering.
That would be a meaningful challenge worth meeting.
NATE STRAUCH IS A REPORTER AND COLUMNIST WITH THE SHERMAN-DENISON (TEXAS) HERALD DEMOCRAT.
Commentary on 08/26/2014