Wishing reality star Kim Kardashian and rapper Kayne West a hearty kongratulations on their kin!
The kouple had their first child, a daughter. So far the name of the newest kast member of Keeping up With the Kardashians (which includes kharacters like Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie and Kris) has not yet been kommunicated, but surely it will begin with a “K.”
Wait, this just in! The baby’s name is North. North West. Seriously. (Future siblings: Go, Out and Wild.)
But, but, but, we had all these kreative K names picked out for them!
Kris. As a nod to Kim’s “momager” Kris Jenner or as a shout-out to Kim’s former husband (the one she wanted to divorce 72 days after their extravagant E! channel wedding and the one she was technically married to when she became pregnant with this kiddo).
Kameron. It almost sounds like camera (every Kardashian’s favorite thing). Besides, a kopulation video is what began Kim’s entire kareer.
Kashmere. What’s more luxurious than plush premium goat wool? Then again, it might remind Kim of the time she was flour bombed by an animal welfare activist. It was also the klosest she ever got to kooking.
Kurvy. After all, from what we hear the dark-haired baby (described by a friend in People magazine: “the prettiest, tiniest thing with a full head of straight, dark hair, a cute little nose and Kim’s lips”) looks just like her mother.
Kathryn. As in Kathryn Whiteford, vice president of the American Parkinson Disease Association, who has kondemned Kanye for lyrics on his new album Yeezus (from “On Sight”: “A monster about to come alive again/Soon as I pull up and park the Benz/We get this b shaking like Parkinson’s”).
Katrina: Reminiscent of when Kanye declared, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” at a 2005 hurricane relief koncert.
Kilt: Reminiscent of the Givenchy skirt Kanye wore at 12-12-12 The Concert for Sandy Relief.
Kologne: Inspired by Kim’s fragrance line that includes scents from Glam to True Reflection. We look forward to her baby perfumes:Kradle, Karriage and Kolic.
Kami. You know, like the sleeveless undergarments, sold as part of the sisters’ Kardashian Kollection fashion line at Sears.
Klone. As in Melissa Molinaro, the brunette Kim lookalike that Old Navy used in a kommercial. Kim settled a suit with the klothing kompany. (Molinaro also dated Kim’s ex-boyfriend, football player Reggie Bush - now engaged to his baby mama Lilit Avagyan, another woman who looks like Kim.)
Khloe. Sure, there’s already a Khloe Kardashian (Kim’s sister) in the family. Or is there? There has been lots of speculation that Khloe’s father might have been someone besides the late Robert Kardashian (perhaps Jenner’s hairdresser Alex Roldan or even O.J. Simpson!). Krazy.
Klick out an e-mail: [email protected] What’s in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman ’hood.
Style, Pages 27 on 06/25/2013