Bullying kills children.
And the members of St. Theodore’s Episcopal Church in Bella Vista want to do something about it.
Lissa Brown, an author and former teacher, speaks about how to stop bullying at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday at the church.
“I’m very concerned about bullying going on in schools - even in adults,” said church member Ginger Hamilton.
Two groups of children are more likely to face bullying: kids with disabilities and LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered) kids, she said.
Brown will share bits from her latest book, “Another F-Word,” a novel about a gay boy who is bullied by everyone.
Bullying centers around power, Brown said. The powerful pick on the less powerful to validate their importance.
“The one being bullied feels hopeless,” said Ken Parks, church rector.
“Bullying happens when you have two people - or two sets of people - with different levels of power,” Brown said. “But bullying is not just getting punched in the nose on the playground.”
Bullying involves repeated events to hurt the weaker person, she said. “Repeated,” she emphasized.
“We have to be careful we don’t label everything in society as bullying,” she said.
“People are now becoming aware that bullying isn’t a rite of passage, as we believed,” Brown said. “Children are killing themselves. The ultimate act may be suicide,but if someone is bullying that child, I think there’s culpability.”
And the effects of bullying can follow a child into adulthood, she added.
At special risk are children being bullied in cyberspace.
“When a child is being bullied at school, they can go home and have a safe place, we hope,” Brown said. “But when he is being cyberbullied, there’s no break from it - unless adults intervene. Adults need to speak out! They should not become bystanders. They should not walk away and ignore it.”
People very influential to stop bullying are the older generation, Hamilton said.“Kids might be more likely to talk to their grandparents than their grandparents.”
“Pay attention to your grandkids, your children, your neighbors,” Brown said. “They’ll usually show signs something is wrong.”
Being sick on Sunday evening might be an effort to miss school Monday, she said. Slipping grades, becoming withdrawn and aggression toward siblings could be other signs.
“We want to make it clear up front that this not acceptable,” Parks said. “This is not right, and it can be changed.”
“For heaven’s sake, it’s got to be stopped!” Hamilton concluded.
Religion, Pages 8 on 04/20/2013