SPRINGDALE — Expectations and assumptions always get me into trouble.
For instance, the other day I assumed the speed limit was 30 miles an hour in a school zone during summer. Then, an hour later, I expected to quickly leave my bathroom without hitting the door with my eye. I was wrong both times.
How loud can you yell at an inanimate object for a self-inflicted wound? Very loudly when your eye is black, blue and swollen shut.
Also, I expected to have a calm and relaxing summer by not signing my children up for a million activities and camps. I assumed a lack of schedule would alleviate the rush, stress and unnecessary drama. Please refer back to paragraph one. I can still rush and make drama with no deadline to be met and walk away injured.
Not only do I still find ways to “hurry,” but my children look bewildered and confused these days. It’s a serious problem when your child stumbles down the stairs in the morning to ask, “What time do we have to be somewhere?” To which I reply, “Where do we have to be?” And blankly staring at me, she replies, “I don’t know, you’re the mom.” I say, maturely, “I know that. I was just testing YOU.”
The only relief I find in this disarray of no “set schedule” is that I discovered this problem while they’re still relatively young. I can still reverse the damage. They’ve always been capable of entertaining themselves for small amounts of time, but give them a few hours and they take on the appearance of a native tribe looking to hang the chief.
My solution? Chores, lots and lots of chores. Improvement can be seen hourly.
So here we are. Not yet to the halfway point of summer and its red-alert status. The other day a friend asked me why she hadn’t seen my column in a while (only my friends would notice). Well, it seems you have to be able to sit at a computer for more than two minutes to finish something. In fact, if this column doesn’t appear Monday, I told my friend to come search for me duct-taped to the trampoline.
So to play catch-up, in a hurry no less, let me state my expectations and assumptions regarding the following headlines of the last few days:
w Kix Brooks will perform at Rodeo of the Ozarks July 6! If you have a ticket for the rodeo, the show is included. I fully expect to see a record crowd to see this man (formerly of the band Brooks and Dunn) live. I don’t know about you, but go ahead and assume I’ll be melting in my seat and it won’t be from the heat.
w Sales tax revenue up in Springdale. Hello new restaurants! Have you been to the Bleu Monkey yet? I have no idea who owns this restaurant (if my children would let me use the computer longer I could research), but they have a menu item that includes fried macaroni and cheese balls. Talk about melting, I dream of them daily. You must order the margarita with upside down Corona beer bottle in the center to complete the experience. Just sayin’, I fully expect to gain weight thanks to those monkey people.
w Springdale utility to give raises. The raise will keep the utility employees in line with the cost of living. I expect people who deserve a raise due to work performance should be compensated accordingly. Cost of living is not that much to ask. Good decision and enough said.
w Springdale High School will start offering courses in food production. I read that the food service industry is expected to demonstrate growth in the period of 2011 to 2015 due to the increase in employment and disposable income. I think this is a good move by the district because those food reality shows seem to be breeding like rabbits. Let’s not forget our own Springdale School District graduate Jennifer Matsubara from Shelby Lynn’s was crowned on one of these shows. How many more famous alums might there be?
Assume now that I am off to engage my children in some sort of educational and cultural activity. Expect that it will fail and trouble will ensue.
HEATHER ORRICK NICHOLS IS A SPRINGDALE NATIVE, A WIFE AND THE MOTHER OF THREE CHILDREN.