My mom thinks I am stodgy.
That’s not exactly the adjective she used. What she said is that I was acting like her best friend because I said I preferred to hear the live choir sing as opposed to a prerecorded choir which was so loud it drowned out the live singers.
This discussion came about because I accompanied her to the Christmas play at her church. I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t a prerecorded choir with banjo and dulcimer.
Otherwise it was the standard Christmas story: a family split by their differences get together at a bed and breakfast for Christmas when Joseph and Mary — oops, that would be John and Marion — come looking for a room at the inn.
I am not stodgy, I just see no reason to have a live choir spend their time rehearsing if the audience isn’t going to be able to hear them.
Besides, I am somewhat of an expert on church Christmas plays. You see, I was Baby Jesus in a rendition of the Nativity.
Yes, that’s right; a red-haired, blue-eyed girl was Baby Jesus at First Assembly of God in Harrison, Ark. And a darned fine Baby Jesus I was, too. Mom said they didn’t hear a peep out of me.
I don’t think whoever staged that version of the Christmas story was particularly liberal. I think I was selected because, at 4 months, I was the youngest baby in the church that year. Undoubtedly the most talented, too, but I am guessing no one would admit that.
I must have been really good and no one could live up to my performance because they had a doll in the role of Joshua/Jesus this year.
Here’s how I know I am not stodgy: My niece is headed for Las Vegas and asked for suggestions as to things to do. I cheerfully provided a list. If I was stodgy would I be doing that? I think not.
The only thing hard to do is wrap my head around the fact that she is old enough to go to Vegas on her own and have a good time.
What happened to the kid who would have preferred a theme park over the gambling mecca of the universe?
We talked about places to eat, transportation and entertainment. I left out the part about the flyers thrust into your hand as you walk down the street. You know the ones I mean; they advertise the services of certain people.
I figure she ought to see those for herself. I expect she will get a good laugh.
If I was stodgy would have made a small cash donation to her first trip to Bonnaroo, a Woodstock-like event for a new generation?
If I was stodgy wouldn’t I have dropped to the floor and flopped around like a fish out of water when she announced just before our big Christmas party that she needed to go to the “line” to buy her favorite beer?
I know you aren’t supposed to contradict your parents, but I am not stodgy. I just missed the part of life where the kids grew up and Christmas choirs were prerecorded.
Leeanna Walker is local Editor of the Rogers Morning News.