LET’S TALK: 2010 seer: Recession makes us shrewder

LITTLE ROCK — Has 2009 been too much of a thrill ride for you? Afraid to even contemplate what lies ahead in 2010?

Officials of mega-advertising agency J. Walter Thompson, which now calls itself JWT, were not afraid to look ahead. The firm recently released its forecast of trends that will influence consumer behavior in 2010.

Many of the trends are - surprise, surprise - driven by the nasty economic downturn, according to Ann Mack, JWT’s director of trend-spotting.

Surprisingly enough, there are no mentions of banks being abandoned in favor of backyard holes or Road Warrior chic becoming the “new black” of fashion. Nor are there any mentions of mysterious monoliths orbiting Jupiter.

Here are some of the Top 10 Trends JWT does foresee.

Baby boomers will continue to be accommodated into geezerhood.

“As the world’s population grows older than it has ever been, watch for a proliferation of products and services that cater to this demographic as they strive to live independently for as long as they can,” according to JWT. So we’ll be getting even more items like the elevated toilet seats, various foot cushions, magnet bracelets and Borg-like body braces.

(Here’s an invention I’d like to see for those of us of a certain age: a portable You’ve Told That Anecdote Before machine.Anytime you tell the spouse, kids, grandkids, next-door neighbors, bowling buddies or fellow church members about that wild fraternity kegger or the days you had to drive to school 10 miles in the snow in your ’76 Trans Am, you input that information. Soon, you’ll be able to check the YTTAB machine to see what stories you’ve told, to whom and how many times in the last month. Then you’ll never bore your loved ones again.)

To quote rock band The Who, we “won’t get fooled again.”

In other words, “consumers will be ... putting more time and energy into finding good values, reading the fine print and learning the ins and outs of nutrition, environmental impact and ethical business practices,” according to JTW.

An example: banks, airlines and other “ailing service industries” are putting so many intricately strung together rules and gotcha-fees on us that we’ll all become smarter consumers in order to avoid becoming even poorer. So the next time you youngsters are standing behind us oldsters in line somewhere and we’re asking the service person 50,000 questions - don’t get impatient. Get imitative.

Manufacturers and retailers will disclose more about their products.

They’ll have to, thanks to new laws and competitors. Take food, for instance. Even if it’s just a cookie, they’ll be forced to tell us what ingredients went into it and their effect on the environment.

Granted, the full disclosure of food ingredients and calories will be a big bummer. Now we can’t tell the doctor we didn’t know they put all that sugar and butter into our favorite foods because we were not told.

The New Money nations will be flickin’ their collective BIC.

“While developed nations remain hobbled by the financial crisis, Brazil, India and China (BIC) are emerging stronger than ever, both economically and politically,” says JWT.

So while we Ugly Americans are recycling bottles for cash, making do with our converted or cablec onnected tube TVs and plying service people with question on just how much the underwear or the lube job will really cost us, we’ll be forced to watch as people in Brazil, India and China tread where we once trod, snapping up luxury items, partying nonstop - and, ahem, digging themselves into the same economic hole into which we dug ourselves?

It’ll all be about location, location, location.

“With more location-based services and advanced mobile and mapping technologies hitting the market, the conversation will become as much about ‘where I am’ as it is about ‘what I’m doing’ and ‘what’s on my mind.’ ” So not only will we have Twitter; we’ll have Flitter - and send each other “fleets.” Too Much Information, Part Two.

We’ll revert to cave drawings - well, 21stcentury style.

“The ongoing shift from words to images will accelerate, and we’ll see increasingly innovative ways to explain and illuminate complex topics,” opines JWT.

Uh, wait. What’s that gonna do to the future of newspapers? And those who write for them?

Anybody got a sketchbook?

I predict you’ll send email: [email protected]