Stories by Lisa Kelley

Lisa Kelley: Who gets married during a pandemic? "What was that?" I whispered, sitting upright in bed. "What was what?" mumbled a sleepy Trapper John. Thump! Thump! Thump! "THAT!" I said as I threw back the covers and bounded to the floor. "I think ... April 9, 2020

Lisa Kelley: The world has changed; so must we all How quickly the world as we know it has changed. In the course of a few days, Hanes has gone from making undies that cover one set of cheeks to making face masks that cover another. Liquor distillerie... March 26, 2020

Lisa Kelley: Kindness was Darla's super-power I'll proudly punctuate the end of this week with another birthday. Grammy taught me that you celebrate the week or even the entire month of your birthday if you think you can get away with it. I've al... March 12, 2020

Lisa Kelley: Rear-window view can be complex "I'm not much on rear-window ethics." -- Grace Kelly as Lisa Fremont in Alfred Hitchcock's film Rear Window I've seen a lot of things through the window above the kitchen sink. As a kid living in a re... February 27, 2020

Love story different in Vilonia William Shakespeare is credited with being a most romantic chap, what with his tale of Romeo and Juliet still being told 400 years later. Have you ever wondered what Shakespeare might have written had... February 13, 2020

Lawyer jokes and worse When human beings are introduced to one another, the typical exchange goes something like this: "Hi, I'm Thelma," Thelma says with a smile and a handshake. "I'm Louise. Nice to meet you," Louise recip... January 30, 2020

Lisa Kelley: Turns out this girl said yes to forever "I don't know what your intentions are, but I get the sense you're looking for something long term, so you should know right now that I will probably never remarry," I announced. Trapper John grinned ... January 16, 2020

Lisa Kelley: New Year's resolutions gone awry Through the year, I eat my way from holiday to holiday. When Auld Lang Syne comes round once more, I vow to change from the year before. "Fewer sweets and less butter! No more salt!" I hear myself utt... January 2, 2020

Love lives on in memories at Christmas I love this time of year, when family and friends gather and conversations turn to stories told and retold, especially those embellished for fresh ears in the room -- stories like the time Uncle Ronni... December 19, 2019

Lisa Kelley: Quid pro quo for cards, too Did you send what I sent? A card, a card, posted in the mail Better get one back without fail... My mama and I had a tradition of writing Christmas cards the weekend after Thanksgiving to meet our sel... December 5, 2019

Lisa Kelley: Many would love to share our lives "I'm ... new at this," he stammered as he looked down at his feet. Me, too, I thought. The most I'd ever done for the homeless was to give a couple of dollars and a cheeseburger. The least I'd ever do... November 21, 2019

Lisa Kelley: Our generation has slang, too I've noticed I'm beginning to say and do things that "old people" say and do, which can't possibly be happening since "old" is perpetually 20 years my senior. I wore ear plugs to a church service in N... November 7, 2019

Lisa Kelley: Nothing is ever 'settled' "I mean, I just want things to be settled," I confessed to Uncle Ronnie as I drove his old Ford truck down the long, winding driveway toward the farm house. "That's all I've ever wanted -- to have thi... October 24, 2019

Lisa Kelley: Bags recalled as carriers of kindness After leaving home for college, I learned that my mama and I were referred to as "the widda woman and the kid" by folks along Cane Creek where I was raised. I guess the fact that she wasn't a widow ma... October 10, 2019

Camping isn't all that cushy so traveler bids adventure adieu Campsite California With apologies to the Eagles... On a long desert highway, air conditioning in my hair Having flown several hours just to make it out there; Up ahead in the distance was the nationa... September 26, 2019

Lisa Kelley: Dogs and Furless Beings find love in mysterious ways Lisa Kelley is away this week. Writing in her stead is her dog, Baxter: I am grateful for the opportunity to address you once again in Owner Dear's absence. I am not as grateful as I would be in the e... September 12, 2019

Lisa Kelley: You can't pet a cow, but you can overshare I have a tell-me-your-story face. Complete strangers walk up to me and tell me the darnedest things. The first time I recall it happening was when I was 16 years old and working in a frozen yogurt sho... August 29, 2019

No good can come of it: Patient resists doctorin' I've made it one of my life's goals to stay away from doctors as much as possible. Seemed like my mama would go to the doctor for one thing and come home with five other things wrong with her. No, sir... August 15, 2019

The cat's out of bag now Courtship, going steady, keeping company -- whatever you call it, it's quite a process, whether you're a pimple-faced teenager or a perimenopausal middle-ager. There's the first date where you're tryi... August 1, 2019

Puerto Rico full of lessons, love and pain I can't say I was fully awake when I boarded the plane at 5am with my first cup of joe in hand. My buddy, Kyle, was not similarly situated. Chatty by nature, he's one of those "morning people" who'd a... July 18, 2019

Freedom is worth celebrating Independence Day is, and always has been, my favorite holiday. Don't get me wrong; I love Christmas and Easter and all they represent in my faith. And I thoroughly enjoy Thanksgiving, with family and ... July 4, 2019

In the good ol' summertime, seek simplicity I caught a glimpse of her from the corner of my eye as Baxter took me for a walk around the Bentonville square. I liked her instantly -- a little girl, about 4 years old, with a mop of long brown hair... June 20, 2019

War story hits close to home I'd been busier than a box fan in August, so I knew didn't need to add a single thing to my schedule. But when I saw the email from Robert Ford, artistic director of TheatreSquared, inviting me to a r... June 6, 2019

Sometimes an SOS succeeds There are some things folks over a certain age -- say, folks out of puberty -- ought to know without being told. You don't startle someone who's holding a hot iron, a pot of boiling water or a loaded ... May 23, 2019

Bonding Over 'Bondo' Have you ever watched a woman you care about applying her makeup? I don't mean the rushing around kind where she waves a mascara wand in the car while driving with one knee like she's Don Quixote look... May 9, 2019

New hairdo leads to confusion I was genetically bestowed with thick, naturally wavy hair. I go to the salon for a trim two or three times a year. Keeping my tresses long reduces the amount of time and money I have to waste on them... April 25, 2019

Hold Your Horses The 45th annual Piggott FFA Farm Sale was held this past Saturday, and as usual, Uncle Ronnie and I were there before the first bid. In fact, he and our beloved tag-a-long, Lizzy, were there before su... April 11, 2019

Twitterpated? Words can be flustrating Spring has officially sprung. My garden is stretching and yawning itself awake. Bulbs are bursting, birds are nesting, and teenagers are giggling incessantly on the square. Yes, spring has most defini... March 28, 2019

A gamble that paid beautifully To celebrate my aging process last week, I embarked on a journey farther from home than I'd ever been -- near the Arctic Circle of Alaska -- in hopes of seeing the elusive Northern Lights. While I'd t... March 14, 2019

Lost words still found in Arkansas A friend of mine, Ralph Williams, who is a fine attorney and even finer human being, recently sent me a note asking whether I recalled any of these "lost" words from childhood. I read the list and was... February 28, 2019

Ice cream on Sunday is enough I've had a few midlife crises, and I'm not sure I'm done yet. The way I figure, they're like doughnuts. You shouldn't have one, but you end up having four before all's said and done. My third such dou... February 14, 2019

Memory reflects lessons High school gymnasiums have an unmistakable scent and sound all their own. It's a world where polished wood, gym socks and overpowering teenage cologne mingle with buzzers, screaming fans and squeakin... January 31, 2019

Hello! Big Sister is listening This confession tastes like vinegar with anchovies, but here goes... There is a slight possibility that I might have been a tad slow in warming to technological advancements. OK, I'm like a three-toed... January 17, 2019

Being authentic counts "What did you write about in your last column -- washing dishes or something? Ordinary stuff. I like it. I mean, it isn't fine literature. It's not Tolstoy. But it's a decent read," the lawyer said. "... January 3, 2019

Maybe it's not quite essential Hanging in my stairwell for many a year is a nerdy little map of the United States -- the kind you color when you've been to a state. Much of my map is painted with pretty wax, save for the West Coast... December 13, 2018

Running with Grammy Can you imagine if each day you were given a snapshot of a moment that will happen in your life tomorrow? You sit down with your morning cup a'joe and there lays a Polaroid. Looks like you're in traff... November 29, 2018

Strolling through the past I kicked up leaves with my boots as I hustled toward the courthouse. If I hurried, I could then run to the bank, then race back to the office before -- "Ma'am? Ma'am, over here!" I turned to find two ... November 15, 2018

Ice cream, like time, won't wait Good judgment is the result of experience, and experience the result of bad judgment. -- Mark Twain There are so many rules. State laws, federal laws, city ordinances, codes of ethics, judicial canons... November 1, 2018

Just like we were 12 again Last week, I could legitimately claim that I was 12 years old the last time I was in a haunted house. This week, I can legitimately claim that I acted 12 years old the last time I was in a haunted hou... October 18, 2018

Horrific Middle Acre Around 1970, my maternal grandparents bought 5 acres of overgrown land off a rutted dirt road so remote that Lewis and Clark would refuse to explore it. They divided the land into three parcels, aimin... October 4, 2018

Writer goes rogue Conversation which might or might not have occurred with my editor: Editor: "Your column is due Monday. On what are you planning to write?" (Editors use grammatically correct sentence structure in all... September 20, 2018

Watch yore language We adults can complicate pert near anything, especially communication. Take a gander at your latest homeowner's policy or telephone bill, and tell me either couldn't be improved by a third-grader. The... September 6, 2018

Postcards speak volumes Hello Honey Postcards preserve unfinished stories At the ripe age of 2 years, I received my first postcard. August 26, 1976 Dear Lisa, I bought this post just for you. I know how you like fish. These ... August 23, 2018

Gravy, gravy, gravy While I was having dinner with a group of friends, the server leaned over the table, porcelain bowl in hand. "Mashed potatoes?" "Like someone would actually say no to that," I said. "I would never say... August 9, 2018

Old dog's way Lisa Kelley is away this week. In her stead, her dog, Baxter, submits a poem: A Dog's Way 'Twas more than a decade ago when I, a pup freshly minted and spry, found the favor of a brown-eyed girl who g... July 26, 2018

Suckers come to fight My family tree has a lot of suckers. You know, those shoots that come up here and there from the roots and base. Given the fact that some of my mama's lineage married and remarried like it was a compe... July 12, 2018

Strangers go extra mile Folks said it was bound to happen, and one day, folks were right. Driving down five lanes in Bentonville, Blue Belle stopped in her tracks. I pumped the gas pedal and turned the key. She sputtered and... June 28, 2018

Go with the flow "That looks weird," I said, nodding upstream as my friends and I pulled our kayaks onto a gravel bar for a break in our half-day float down the Buffalo River. "Maybe a branch ..." Mikey replied, uncon... May 31, 2018

Truly breath taking I write this column while seated on a rock at the edge of Horseshoe Bend outside of Page, Ariz. The sun is rising behind me -- which, not being a morning person, are words I don't typically string tog... May 17, 2018

Tornados and baloney Talk is cheap. -- No lawyer ever said I tend to steer clear of the practice of law in this column, but now and again, I figure the elephant in the room needs an ear scratched. Over the past 20 years, ... May 3, 2018