DEAR HELOISE: My niece decided to have a destination wedding in Hawaii in late July. We all live in Ohio, so naturally, Hawaii is a long way off for everyone in her family. She sent out 112 invitations, and only seven people responded that they would be attending. Of the seven who said they'd go, two have backed out already.
Yes, my niece is very disappointed, but I think destination weddings are absurd. If the bride and groom want to get married in Hawaii, that's fine, but she seems selfish and inconsiderate to expect other people to pay for tickets, hotels, meals, wedding gifts and other items.
When the three girls my niece wanted as bridesmaids said that they couldn't afford it, she told them to put the trip and bridesmaid gowns on a credit card or take out a loan! Then, she pitched a fit when they refused, but now, her three closest friends aren't even speaking to her. The groom's parents aren't going because they are helping two of their other children with college tuition and can't afford the trip. My husband and I are not going for health reasons.
What is it with destination weddings? I don't care if the bride and groom want to get married on surfboards in Bora Bora! Just don't expect other people to pay for an expensive trip to see your wedding. Money is tight for many people right now. A destination wedding may be your "dream wedding," but many people you know will be unable to attend.
-- Patsy and Earl,
Findley, Ohio
DEAR READERS: Maybe the couple getting married should go to Hawaii and have their wedding, then come back and have a big party where people can get together and help them celebrate. Destination weddings are a trend right now, but it will be interesting to see if it continues to be a popular idea.
DEAR READERS: Got a bag of sand? Here are some uses for it:
Use it to soak up spills in your garage.
Mix the sand with potting soil to help young plants get an easier start.
Use the sand on slippery steps and walkways in winter.
Dig a hole in the backyard and fill with sand for your kitty.
Send a money- or time-saving hint to Heloise, P.O. Box 795001, San Antonio, Texas 78279-5000; fax to (210) 435-6473; or email