Opinion

OPINION | GARY SMITH: There’s winning and losing — or both — in the Two-Team Tango

Sooner or later, someone’s toes will get stepped on

When the Lovely Mrs. Smith and I, along with the two of our progeny born outside the confines of Northwest Arkansas, moved here several years ago, we discovered we were actually part of a wave of folks reminiscent of events like the Oklahoma Land Run and the California Gold Rush.

OK, so maybe not exactly like those. Or even close. But a lot of people were coming to ("descending on" might be the way a native saw it) the area at roughly the same time. So many that one of the most frequently asked questions at gatherings was "So, where are you all from?"

While it appears that for the most part we assimilated nicely (again, in the eye of the beholder) the fact is that a lot of us came from Parts Elsewhere. And that creates, among other things (including a lot of strange accents) a certain class of resident I'll refer to (and certainly identify as) as "Two Teamers."

We are those people who have to split our loyalties between the University of Arkansas and some other team -- likely our alma mater or at least our home state's big dog in the fight.

Now you'd think that would be easy. But, as with most things people think are easy, you'd be wrong.

How, you say? Doesn't rooting for two teams double your chances of getting to celebrate at least one win a weekend? And I say, "Sure, it also doubles your chances of having a football doink off an upright at roughly the same time, on a field a few hours away, a defense is forgetting how to tackle a quarterback on 3rd down and 15."

Yes, I realize these are very specific. Specificity is often the key to a good illustration. And much heartbreak.

You see, when it comes to college athletics, there is absolutely no amount of thrill of victory that overcomes the agony of any defeat. Wins come and go. Losses ... linger. Forever.

And, again, since this is college athletics, the silver lining of every victory can easily be wrapped in the dark cloud of "Yeah, but if we play that way against ___________ we'll get crushed like grapes." That's particularly relevant to me because both of my teams will soon have the opportunity to fill in that blank with Alabama or Georgia.

I know: The sad reality is that for most college athletics fans, losing is terrible and winning is only slightly better.

Which of course begs the observation that anyone who bases any degree of his personal happiness and psychic well-being on the efforts of a group of young people not old enough to legally rent a car gets what he deserves. To which I say, "Yep ... and have you met any of your neighbors or co-workers or the people you go to church with or, basically, anyone up here yet?"

Also, yes, I know: Not supporting and emotionally investing in the local team is certainly an option for those of us with choices. No guarantee of happiness (did I mention that inability to tackle a quarterback on 3rd and 15?), and at least you halve your potential exposure to heartbreak.

But, what's the fun in that? The Overton Window of fan support gets moved pretty quickly when you settle somewhere and, before long, it's hard not to take at least some interest in the things that interest everyone around you. Besides, some of us have set down roots firmly enough that we likely have Arkansas grads in our immediate bloodline. As most parents of college students will admit, you've kinda got to follow the money.

And who wants to be that guy at the party commenting loudly that the pizza was better where he came from and back there people knew how to drive in the snow? Good way to alienate any potential new friends as well as get invited to move back. Also, former Michigander here: People up there wreck on icy roads just like everyone else. Ice, it seems, is universally slick.

Soon (or "Sooner," if you'd like to inject a bit of irony, given my alma mater) I'll face another dilemma that often confronts Two Teamers. My school will play ... my school. Yes, I know, it's happened before. But not that often and not in a while. Certainly not every season in games that matter for more than pride and largely mythical rankings.

And when that happens, unless they change the rules to allow for ties, I'll get to pull off a rare feat. I'll get to win and lose, all in the same day.

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