Faith Matters: Maya Porter

Faith Matters: Big, small, conflict is a choice

Peaceful option always possible

In 1660, Quaker founder George Fox published a statement professing the Quakers' determination not to take up arms against Charles II, the new king of England. It was prudent for those early Friends to state that they would not take part in the conflict around the monarchy. This statement is still relevant today, for everyone, not just Quakers.

In part, the statement says: "We utterly deny, with all outward wars and strife, and fightings with outward weapons, for any end, or under any pretense whatsoever. ... I lived in the virtue of that life and power that took away the occasion of all wars..."

"Took away the occasion of all wars." That's the key -- to remove the cause of war.

Refusing to fight is after the fact. Long before the shooting starts, a situation has developed that could have been addressed to avoid a war, but doing so requires more peaceful intention and maturity than most national leaders throughout history have demonstrated.

We think of countries or tribes starting wars, but every national action starts with an individual's decision. Of course a national action requires more than one decision by more than one person, but each person makes his or her individual choice, and those choices radiate out farther and farther until we have global conflict. Whether the war is aggressive or defensive, just or unjust, the instigating decision still takes place in someone's mind and determines the "occasion of war."

Most of us will never be responsible for decisions that instigate a national war, but as individuals we create our own conflicts the same way. We have the option of creating our own personal wars -- or not.

Years ago, across the back of my yard, I planted a row of trees that are now more than 12 feet tall. One day the neighbor behind me came to my door and said that in the process of installing a fence their surveyor discovered that my trees were one foot into their yard -- and I needed to move them. My first reaction was to blurt out, "No! That's ridiculous!" No way could I move those trees. But I held my tongue and thought, how can we resolve this without a fight? I replied in a conciliatory tone, "Oh dear. Show me what you mean."

So we walked out back, and as we looked at the trees and talked about the situation, the neighbor realized he was being unreasonable and said, "Well, a foot isn't very much. We have a big yard. I guess they can stay."

Whew! One small neighborhood battle averted. If I had instantly argued with him, he would surely have dug in and insisted on his rights. He was legally right; I should have checked the lot line before I planted. But with a willingness to talk about it -- and most importantly, to listen -- we reached a solution that satisfied both of us.

We each, in our own small way, have the power to take away the occasion of war.

Maya Porter is a member of the Fayetteville Friends Meeting (Quaker). Her book "Recognized in Flight: A Memoir" is available on Amazon. Email her at [email protected].

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