Finally, technology has caught up with one of my biggest irritations -- losing things. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it sends my frustration level soaring. The little voice that lives in my head is so judgmental when I misplace something. Even though I'd never say these things to a friend or family member if they lost something, I'm quick to viciously berate myself when I do it.
Inner critic: Well, you've done it again, genius. How many times are you going to lose the remote? I mean, why can't you just put it back in the same place every time like you know you should? It's not even that hard to do. And now you're going to have to waste time looking for it yet again. And you call yourself organized? Pfft! You're a mess! This is ridiculous! You know the remote is in this room, so why can't you find it? Did it vanish? Slip into an alternate universe? Or are you just incompetent at keeping up with things? You really need to get it together and organize the entire house so this never happens again.
See what I mean? That inner critic is harsh. She scares me a little. But perhaps finally I can use technology to shut her up once and for all.
A few weeks ago, I read about a new product called "Airtags." They're made by Apple, the same company that makes my phone. Like many people, my phone has become the rectangular brain I carry around in my pocket. It pings and chimes all day with various alarms and reminders that tell me what to do and when to do it. Without it, I'm basically a glazed doughnut with hair.
Before I go further, I should mention that I'm not being paid or given free stuff to write about the product and there are, in fact, other similar products (like one called "Tile.") I just happened to buy the one that integrates easily with my phone (aka brain).
The concept is simple. You put an "airtag" or tracker on a thing you don't want to lose. The ones I bought look like tiny hockey pucks. When you unwrap it and hold it next to your phone, it automatically connects via Bluetooth and then asks you to give the locating device a name. As much as I would've liked to give my stuff names like Frank, or Mildred, or Scout, I played it safe and went with names I wouldn't forget -- like Gwen's handbag.
Then I attached the trackers to stuff I most need to keep up with. If money were no object, I would've stuck one on just about everything. But these things don't just grow on a tracker tree in the back yard, so it's important to prioritize. I decided to track only the things that are either most important or are habitual offenders when it comes to getting lost. (Television remote: I'm looking at you.)
When your stuff goes missing -- and you know it will because the universe is a cruel prankster -- you use your phone's "Find My" app to track it down. You touch the name of the tracker and then ask it to play a sound. Then you follow the sound of the beeps as if they're audio breadcrumbs leading you to the thing you lost.
If your phone is a newer model that allows for "precision finding," it will even tell you how close you're getting to the lost item -- like a modernized version of the childhood game "You're getting colder. Now you're getting warmer! Hot now! Hotter!" The phone will keep showing you an arrow that literally points you in the right direction until you're within four inches of the lost item. (If you can't find the item once you're only four inches away, there's a good chance you are one of my kids. But I digress.)
It's still early in this new product relationship, so I can't say for sure how things will turn out. But so far, I can tell you that my inner critic hasn't needed to chew me out for misplacing something in more than a week. Even when I don't know where something is, my phone does. It's a tad creepy and a ton convenient, all wrapped up in one tiny disk.
Gwen Rockwood is a syndicated freelance columnist. Email her at [email protected]. Her book is available on Amazon.