As I listened to a podcast the other day, one of the hosts made a salient point that I think perfectly demonstrates the gross mismanagement and general ineptitude of our government and should compel us all to take to the streets in revolt.
As the host astutely pointed out, my vaccination card doesn't fit in my wallet.
OK, yeah, probably a little much on the outrage there. Yes, I do, in fact, own a pair of scissors, or I could just fold the card. But overreacting to rather minor situations that are either easily fixable seems very on-brand for us these days. Apparently hell hath no fury like a mildly inconvenienced U.S. citizen.
As I recounted this outrage to my largely adult children, I realized I may have to offer up a little bit of context. A wallet is a thing men used to carry that had money in it. It's the thing I used to reach for while sighing loudly every time my offspring walked near me -- at least until they learned to ask their mother because they just needed to put gas in the car. They didn't need the story of my life.
Now, I realize they may be confused about the actual need for a wallet since in the modern era we don't have to carry money or identification or anything except a phone. And I can just take a picture of the card. But it's the principle of the thing. Or another chance for me to be whiny. Either.
And whine I will, since the card that indicates to the world that I've been vaccinated won't fit in my wallet. Never mind a large percentage of the population seems to think we shouldn't even have the cards, much less be asked to present them.
It certainly doesn't fit as easily as my driver's license, a card any person in the country who wants to indicate they are allowed to operate a motor vehicle has to carry. You know, the card a large portion of our state legislatures seem to think we must have to be allowed to vote.
It doesn't fit as well as my auto insurance card, a card I have to have to show any police officer who has his doubts -- based on recent evidence -- about my ability to operate a motor vehicle at what the city and/or state have determined is a reasonable speed.
And it doesn't fit as well as my health insurance card, the card I have to carry to present to medical professionals who can then tell me whatever I'm concerned about is either (a) what you get for getting older or (b) all in my head. However, fixing that head part requires the same card.
It also doesn't fit as well as my Starbucks Gold Card or the loyalty card to the other nearby coffee place or the coffee place on the other side of town or the coffee place in Tulsa because, well, having access to coffee is very important and I might as well be getting rewarded for it.
The badge I have to enter my work building would fit into my wallet, but I wear it on a lanyard around my neck. Or at least I did when I actually went into an office. And which I'll have to use again if I ever go back to an office. Depending, of course, on whether I can find the badge. Or, frankly, the office.
All these cards I'm required present to various authorities, or to multiply pierced and tattooed baristas, have to be housed in my wallet. And I, and more of my fellow countrymen, have operated this way for all of our lives with very few objections beyond the fact that we keep losing them.
So if the people in charge want to make sure people get and present those cards as a way to assure anyone and everyone around us that they're at minimal risk of contracting a deadly disease from us, they really need to redesign those cards to fit in our wallets. We've all been carrying various forms of identification and authorization for most of our lives, so what's one more thing, right?
Right?