LET'S TALK: Can it be? New pillow has Talkmistress' hopes up for a good night's sleep

I've lamented before in this space the trouble I have sleeping.

I'm someone who's trapped in menopausal symptoms despite "female surgery" years ago, someone who suffers from acid reflux, someone who sometimes wakes up with a side-knee or two bothering me and someone who had been trying to avoid the use of a C-PAP machine for mild sleep apnea.

Basically, to get any hope of a decent night's rest, I gotta sleep on my side, with my head elevated, shifting my legs to keep my knees mollified. Call it Sleep Yoga, Old Gray Mare Pose. Oh, and for optimum results, I should be wearing something made out of breathable fabric in about a 50-degree room.

Needless to say, it's hard to get all this going at the same time. As for the cool room, that's been never; I'm married to a fellow who's cold-natured, so to compromise we keep the thermostat at 77 degrees and run what, in the abode from which we just moved, was a ceiling fan that made what's best described as head-cold-hampered mating noises.

To make matters worse, I've never met a pillow that hasn't ended up flat as a pancake on Weight Watchers, despite whatever lofty promises its maker made.

Many moons ago, I thought I hit pay dirt with a pair of goose feather pillows ordered from a credit catalog. Note that I said goose feather, not goose down. Goose down pillows have been purported to be heavenly soft, holding their shape well (though needing some fluffing), adding no drama to one's night's sleep and being well worth the mini-king's-ransom prices they commanded. The goose feather pillows proved to be fluffy and shape-holding at first, but the small feathers always managed to escape, litter the bed and jab me in places I didn't appreciate being jabbed. And as pointed out online, feathers can go flat, too. Plus, hey, these days I'd rather not diss a goose to get a good night's sleep.

So I regard pillow-buying with something close to the trepidation with which one regards car buying. I figure they're all bad ... including that much-ballyhooed As Seen on TV pillow. Or that head-elevating pillow that looks like a big white piece of cheese. Or that uber-expensive Reflux Relief System that consists of the candy-cane-shaped pillow that rests atop the funny platform that looks like a miniature ski slope, with a hole to put one's arm through and a head-rest island at the top.

Yep, when it comes to pillows, I'm like the single chick who has had too many bad sweethearts.

But then I got wind of the Gx Suspension Pillow (gxpillows.com), whose claim to uniqueness comes in its double-X internal ties and hypoallergenic, hollow fiber, down-alternative filling. It's billed as being a pillow that stays plumped throughout the night as it pampers one's head and enables one to wake up without flat-pillow aches and pains. Invented by designer Alexander Miles, the pillows are endorsed by Dr. Deane Halfpenny with the London Orthopedic Clinic and, according to the website, "has helped tens of thousands of people rediscover the benefits of a great night's sleep." Riiiight.

Hope overruled cynicism, so I cadged some standard-size Gx pillows, which are $69 a pair, to try. Then, I promptly disrespected them by sticking them inside the only pillowcases on hand ... some elderly king-size ones. Then, I got into bed and leaned on 'em. Right off the bat, I felt rich. But figured the hubster wouldn't appreciate being called Jeeves and asked to peel me any grapes.

After snoozing on them for several weeks, these feel-good pillows have indeed held their shape. The only "but" would be that I sleep a bit too crazy even for them. More often than not, I'll nod off with them appropriately elevated against the pillow sham, then wake up sometime in the middle of the night on my back, with at least one of the pillows nearly at posterior level. Managed to wake up one morning with a crick in the neck anyway.

But I do like the pillows. I just hope that -- much like the situations with the bad past sweethearts -- they don't start acting up right after I finish extolling their virtues to everybody.

Meanwhile, the Gx Suspension Pillow could do with a companion gadget. Mr. Miles, please invent a Hold the Troubled Sleeper in Place Gadget with Attached "Personal Summer" Cooler.

Forty winks and an email:

[email protected]

Style on 09/15/2019

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