OPINION

MASTERSON ONLINE: Government inaction

Girdeth thy loins, valued readers, for here I go yet again.

The antagonism and arrogance within our nation's government have soared to a shrill crescendo during the past decade. Virtually nothing gets done in Washington to benefit we the American people any longer for fear someone else might get credit for leading the effort to try.

Oh no! We couldn't have that, could we? In 2019 America, neither major political party can acknowledge something positive the other side has done or that is worth supporting in order to improve our nation and the well-being of our people.

The approach instead is to remain focused on self-centered obsessions while constantly striving to damage the other party in any way possible. Wholesale dysfunction prevails in our elected leadership, as it has for years now, reflecting a stunning level of immaturity, selfishness and, well, utter ignorance.

Gallup poll results reflects just how fed up Americans are with the national legislative process: 75 percent disapprove of the job Congress has been doing. Even that seems a tad generous to me. Yet the circus of juvenile clowns goes on as usual. It's apparent to me no one wading nostril-deep with arms locked in the swamp listens or cares.

Gone are the days when most national legislators viewed their role the way late former 3rd District Congressman John Paul Hammerschmidt (full transparency: my uncle) did when he informed each of his successors that their primary job as a newly elected public servant was to represent every constituent regardless of political affiliation.

I'm not alone in the disgust at the wholly undignified cesspool that congress as a whole has become.

As valued readers know, I occasionally encounter comic strips that illustrate the preposterous follies of our unraveling society. Stephan Pastis nailed it again the other day with his nationally syndicated Pearls Before Swine.

Pastis' bull's-eye, as others of his have been, hit the frustrations and anger many feel with the constant demeaning negativity, petty personal attacks and lack of meaningful accomplishment between parties squarely on the head.

The first panel shows a distressed woman standing on one side of a gaping divide, with debris floating in the background, shouting: "Oh my God, the town's only bridge collapsed! We need help!"

On the opposite bank stand two legislators, one dressed in red, the other in blue. They each shout back: "We can help!'"

The second panel shows the grateful citizen responding, "Oh thank you, my government representatives!" The figure in red then holds up a paper while shouting, "So here's my party's bill for a new bridge!" The blue congressman retorts, "And here's my party's bill!"

Third panel: The red figure points at the blue one and screams: "Wait! I can't let your bill pass. It would look like a win for you guys!" Blue points back at him, shouting, "And I can't let your bill pass!"

The fourth panel is filled with both men embroiled in a temper tantrum, surrounded by motions, delays, accusations, scandals, denial, smears and Twitter fights.

Fifth panel: The congressmen are pointing at each other while childishly rejoicing, "Your bill's defeated!"

Sixth panel: Both men grin as they jump up and down, shouting, "We win!"

The seventh panel depicts the bridgeless citizen still standing alone on the opposite side muttering to herself in very small letters "We win," as the blue and red figures by now have vanished (no doubt headed home to fundraise in their districts).

The final panel shows Goat suggesting a remedy: "Maybe we should all just jump." Rat asks, "To our death, or the other side?" Pig, rejoicing beside them shouts, "Don't jump! We're all winners!"

And there, valued reader, you have what closely passes for our elected government today.

The naked man

So let's say you are a 32-year-old female bank employee leaving the building, minding your own business. The last thing you could imagine (even in a nightmare) is for a bare-naked man to come sprinting directly toward you from out of the darkness.

These kinds of bizarre things just don't happen, especially in friendly Harrison.

Well, Amber Wheeler can attest that indeed they can--and did--and that she felt thankful for the .380 caliber handgun she was legally carrying. Amber shouted for the nude running man to stop. And, wouldn't you just know, he didn't.

So she did what most of us would do. She took aim and squeezed the trigger twice before he could reach her. One bullet found its mark and 30-year-old Chantze Whitebuffalo stumbled.

Then he headed away only to be discovered minutes later by police who followed his blood trail. They already had been searching for Whitebuffalo after he'd earlier been reported crawling in the nude along the city's bypass about a block from the bank.

Whitebuffalo, well-known to police (he'd been released from the Boone County jail earlier that day), was airlifted to a Springfield hospital for treatment. The news account said this man fortunate to still be alive told police he'd gotten drunk after being released from jail and couldn't remember a thing.

I call this a sad story of a troubled person clearly in need of serious help and a woman who rightfully defended herself from a naked stranger running at her from the darkness.

Say what you will about concealed-carry. This is one argument why I believe every woman should always be as protected as Amber was for such an unexpected moment.

Now go out unto the world and treat everyone you meet exactly like you want them to treat you.

Mike Masterson is a longtime Arkansas journalist, was editor of three Arkansas dailies and headed the master's journalism program at Ohio State University. Email him at [email protected].

Web only on 10/19/2019

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