Do you know what today is?
If you just shrugged and growled, "Who cares? It's just another stupid Tuesday! Now, leave me alone!" then this day is for you!
Today -- Jan. 29 -- is national Curmudgeons Day. Perhaps you already had that circled on your Grumpy Cat calendar.
It's an actual thing, according to DaysoftheYear.com: "Curmudgeons Day is one of those holidays most people find hard to believe is real. ... There are many schools of thought regarding Curmudgeons Day. Some say it's a holiday where you're supposed to stay home all day and do nothing. Others, though, see it as a day when you're permitted to be as miserable and grouchy as you like. In fact, they consider it a day when grumpiness should be celebrated." Although celebrating is contrary to the whole spirit of grumpiness.
Curmudgeons Day is held on the birthday of the late comedian W.C. Fields, credited with cranky quips such as "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it" and "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
He clearly qualifies as a curmudgeon. But who else does?
Dictionary.com gives this definition: "a bad-tempered person, especially an old one."
Merriam-Webster.com gives this one: "a crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man."
Can a woman be a curmudgeon? In spirit, yes. Though the more pejorative "battle-ax," which Dictionary.com defines as "a domineering, sharp-tempered person, especially a woman" is more commonly used as the female counterpart. But considering there is no Battle-ax Day, this is our chance, ladies. And everyone gets another opportunity to gripe on Oct. 15 on National Grouch Day; grouchiness knows no gender.
First we'll hear DaysoftheYear.com's suggestions for honoring this day, and then we'll share ours:
"If you're not feeling too ill-tempered, though, you can still celebrate Curmudgeons Day, and have fun while doing it. Here are a few ideas on how to celebrate this holiday without necessarily being grumpy yourself:
"Spread the cheer and make a curmudgeon you know laugh;
"Watch a film featuring curmudgeons, such as Grumpy Old Men;
"Take a few moments to appreciate your life and why you really shouldn't be grumpy.
"Curmudgeons Day is an official holiday, but if you really can't seem to get into the right mood to be true to it, you can always have a bit of fun with the family.''
The best crabby comment on DaysoftheYear.com's post was from a misanthrope who called himself Dr Snake: "You people are far too damned happy about this." And then to really drive his prickly point home, Dr Snake hissed again using all-caps, "You people are FAR too happy about this."
As for how to commemorate Curmudgeons Day, we can think of a few other ways:
• Instead of Grumpy Old Men, watch its sorry sequel, Grumpier Old Men. That movie scored a mere 17 percent on RottenTomatoes.com Tomatometer and received reviews like, "The sequel has only about a third as many legitimate laughs as the original" and "A pale imitation of its predecessor, which was pretty pale to begin with."
• Make an overdue complaint call -- hey, you'll probably get to grumble about the hold time too!
• Laugh at the comedy of "The Most Beloved Grumps in TV History," as compiled by Ranker.com (tinyurl.com/tvgrumps), including No. 3 Al Bundy from Married ... with Children and No. 5 Sophia Petrillo from The Golden Girls and No. 8 Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street ... who all are certainly peeved not to be No. 1 (that honor went to Dr. Gregory House from House).
• Tell someone to get off your lawn. Bonus points if they were nowhere near it.
• Whine about your spouse, your ex, your kids, the government, your job, your boss on Facebook where it's always Curmudgeons Day.
• Eat curmudgeonly foods. Prunes. Raisin bran. Metamucil wafers. And anything sour: sourdough bread, sour pickles and, lastly Sour Patch Kids -- which will surely end in a rant about "these kids today!"
In conclusion, happy Curmudgeons Day!
Even if that's totally missing the point.
Gah. Bah. Meh. Yeesh. Email:
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.
Style on 01/29/2019