OPINION

There's the best, then the rest

What is it with Top 10 lists?

There are plenty of reasons these ubiquitous rankings are so popular, especially at the end of one year and the beginning of the next. Among them:

• They're like true/false exams in school. No essay questions. Little thought is required to absorb their messages.

• Top 10 lists validate opinions. You'll feel like you're onto something if your choices mirror those of others. And you can indulge in the satisfying pleasure of being offended if your best-ofs don't measure up to those of so-called experts. What do they know, anyway?

• The entries in such lists are usually chosen by committee, so it's unlikely that anything radical or controversial will be included. That means they're safe topics to discuss among people who may not share beliefs concerning much of anything.

• Need to come up with a gift? An out-on-the-town entertainment suggestion? A restaurant pick? A suitable bottle of wine? Which e-reader is best? Here ya go.

The most visible--and popular--subjects of such lists are movies, TV shows, albums, books, travel destinations, restaurants (millions of sub-categories here), and games.

Then there are people: Top athletes, the most sexy, the smartest, richest, funniest. Bottom-dwellers too, if you're interested in discovering the most despicable among us.

And tech stuff: Best websites, search engines, smartphones, YouTubers, videos.

Want something weirder? Visit listverse.com, where you can be the life of the party by reporting on the Top 10 awe-inspiring forces that shape the cosmos, 10 communities of people who live underground, 10 frightening serial killers from central Europe, 10 mysterious and creepy events on Mount Everest, 10 horrific discoveries of severed heads and their stories, and 10 disturbing facts about popular snack foods.

For those who enjoy double negatives, there are the Top 10 least important lists. These include the least important U.S. states (Arkansas is reportedly 10th; No. 1 is Wyoming) and the Top 10 worst college undergrad majors (assembled by Forbes, the frontrunner here--based on unemployment rates for recent graduates--is anthropology and archaeology, followed by film/video/photographic arts, fine arts, and philosophy and religious studies).

Anyone who's ever been behind the wheel of a gas-chugging lemon will find sympathy in the Top 10 worst cars ever sold in America, according to the Chicago Tribune. No. 1 is the 1971 Ford Pinto (famous for its easily ruptured fuel tank), the 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Diesel (I once had a boyfriend who owned one of these; it was noisy and could barely reach 55 mph if the air conditioning was on), the 2003 Saturn Ion (with capricious power steering that came and went), the unattractive 1974 Ford Mustang II (according to a former owner, this vehicle had all the performance of a bloated luxury car and the impracticality of an imported sports car), and the 1971 Chevrolet Vega (Automotive News calls this vehicle "an unmitigated disaster").

I'm charmed by dumb.com's Top 10 dumb inventions that made millions of dollars, such as pet rocks, Snuggies (sleeved blanket bathrobes, usually pink in color), and Billy Bob teeth (although its name appears to be an insult to one of my favorite actors, this product, which sold over 15 million, claims to make anybody look like a redneck).

Don't forget the Top 10 most hilariously stupid conspiracy theories (this probably needs to be updated about, oh, every two days) from thetoptens.com, which giddily includes Most of the World Leaders are Space Lizards, The Moon Isn't Real, Dinosaurs Helped in Building the Pyramids, Hitler and Morgan Freeman are the Same Person, and the Denver Airport is a Portal to Hell.

And since we're in such a snarky mood, let's check some of the Top 10 Worst Movies of 2018 (none of which I've seen, and with any luck you haven't either): Chart-toppers include Zoe (Ewan McGregor romances a robot), Unsane (even The Crown's marvelous Claire Foy can make a career mistake), Gotti (another John Travolta gangster role; Get Shorty is much better), Peppermint (Jennifer Garner as a suburban mom on the trail of a drug cartel that killed her family) and The Happytime Murders (not a good idea to use the Muppets for nasty satire).

How about best movies? I'm a member of the Southeastern Film Critics Association, and after months of arguing among ourselves, here is our Top 10 for 2018. I may not agree with the order, or with the film selected for the Wyatt Award (my pick is Boy Erased), nor do I care about which films win Academy Awards tonight, but they all deserve to be here.

This is what a Top 10 list is supposed to do.

1. Roma

  1. The Favourite

  2. A Star Is Born

  3. BlacKkKlansman

  4. If Beale Street Could Talk

  5. Vice

  6. Green Book

8. First Reformed

  1. Eighth Grade

  2. Leave No Trace

The Wyatt Award, for the film that honors the spirit of the South: Green Book.

Karen Martin is senior editor of Perspective.

[email protected]

Editorial on 02/24/2019

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