We all know Netflix and chill.
Now let's talk Netflix and ill.
That's when you're sick, as I recently was -- and not with something formidable like the flu or strep ("But my glands are swollen! Swab again please!") but with a lame viral cold that gives you no cred or good medicine -- and you need some streaming therapy.
What you don't want when you're puny, tired and pitiful is watching other people thriving and winning.
It's not the time to witness chef and food writer Samin Nosrat of Salt Fat Acid Heat traveling all over the globe and experiencing delicious cuisine when you can barely journey to the kitchen for a lousy can of soup you won't be able to taste.
Tidying Up With Marie Kondo is absolutely the last thing to view when you don't have the energy to sit up, let alone clean up and when the only thing you're capable of sparking is not joy but -- cough! Sneeze! Wheeze! -- germs.
You want to engage in a bit of sick-day schadenfreude and watch people who, like yourself, are experiencing trying times and temporarily losing at life.
I've got two newish suggestions for you: Abducted in Plain Sight and Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened. Both are documentaries released by Netflix this year, though Abducted was first released in 2017.
Note: Both feature strong language and mature/sexual situations, so don't watch if those things offend you, and don't get all Fyred up at me if you watch anyway despite this warning.
ABDUCTED IN PLAIN SIGHT
It doesn't take the viewer long to realize why this true crime documentary is called Abducted in Plain Sight.
Because it's about kidnapping.
And because the title Clueless was already taken.
If you have ever questioned your people-reading or parenting skills, watch Abducted and expect to feel completely absolved.
The documentary follows the story of Robert and Mary Ann Broberg, a Midwestern Mormon couple living a happy, wholesome existence with their three young daughters in Idaho in the 1970s -- until they're manipulated by cunning neighbor Robert Berchtold, who they unwittingly allow to abduct their adolescent daughter ... two times.
Make that nitwittingly.
If you have any bit of a voice, it will be lost in about an hour in after screaming, "Are you CRAZY?!" And "Nooooooo!" And "What were you THINKING?!" "You did WHAT because he was having issues with his wife?!" "Don't you DARE sign that affidavit!" And then there's still another hour to go.
Abducted in Plain Sight is just plain baffling.
FYRE: THE GREATEST PARTY THAT NEVER HAPPENED
Fyre follows the dumpster fire that was the Fyre Festival. (So does Fyre Fraud, a new Hulu documentary on the same subject.)
The event, which was scheduled for the spring of 2017, was supposed to be an exclusive music festival -- for pretty, influential party people on a private island in the beautiful Bahamas with luxury accommodations -- that was organized by tech tycoon/con Billy McFarland and rapper Ja Rule. Only it was never organized at all. And then they became all "liar liar, pants on Fyre!"
It's fascinating to watch the unraveling as Fyre begins as a hot idea and then totally goes up in flames -- not literal flames (or else they might have been able to heat up those sad pieces of bread and processed cheese they served in foam containers instead of world class cuisine as promised).
What's even more fascinating is why no one even blinked at spending thousands of dollars to see has-beens Blink 182 and that people wanted to attend a festival by Ja Rule who hasn't ruled the charts since about 2001.
Ja Rule actually said recently that he wants to try to organize another Fyre-esque festival.
Here's hoping he's just blowing smoke.
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Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.
Style on 02/24/2019