Mike Huckabee, Buddy Roemer and Edwin Edwards all find themselves in front of the Pearly Gates at the same time. They look around for St. Peter, but he isn't there.
Directly, they see the saint walking up from the right, along the walls of heaven. His robe is covered with mud, and he holds a shovel in his hand.
"Flooding problems," he announces as he sits down behind his book.
"Say," he says, thinking out loud. "You three men were from the South. You were all governors. So you know about flooding and competitive bids. Tell you what: The one who gives me the best bid will get the best mansion in the afterlife."
Buddy Roemer steps up first:
"I bid $6,000," he says. "Two thousand for labor, two thousand for material, two thousand for profit."
Mike Huckabee goes one better:
"I bid $3,000," he says. "One thousand for labor, one thousand for material, one thousand for profit."
Edwin Edwards knows he can do even better. So he announces:
"I bid $9,000!"
St. Peter looks confused. "Why," he says, "would I bid this project out for $9,000?"
"Well," the former governor of Louisiana says, "That's three thousand for you, three thousand for me, and we give the job to Mike."
When it comes to HB1041, let's just say no. When it comes to skirting around competitive bids, they do that so much better down South.
Editorial on 02/19/2019