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My New Year's Resolution is to read more.

It is a worthwhile idea promoted by Bill Gates, Mark Cuban and Warren Buffett, all of whom say I should read more. OK, not me specifically. People. Of which I am one. I mean, it's not like they all pulled some intervention with me, took me aside and said, "Gary, you really ought to read more." If they knew me, they might. They all seem like the kind of people who might do something "tough-love-ish" like that. But, no, they sort of pointed out that we all should, in general, read more. So, I took them up on it. But I digress....

Anyway, one of the keys to reading more is having more books. So, thanks to large national bookstores and credit card points, mission accomplished. I mean, books don't grow on trees. Well, technically, they kind of do in that they used to be trees. I mean, we knew that, right? After all, our state even has a paper mill, in Pine Bluff. I've been there. Pine Bluff, not the paper mill. However, you can smell it from all over Pine Bluff. Terrible. The worst thing I've ever smelled, except, maybe ... OK, this isn't reading. Sorry, I digress...

Right, so, reading. I need to settle down in a comfortable chair with a big cup of coffee and read. At least 10 pages, more if I can get away with it. Except my coffee is cold. So I better make some more. Which means I need to get filters out of the pantry. Which is when I discover we're about out. So, better put them on the grocery list. Which means I need to find a card. And a pen. So why does she always leave the caps off? Oh, right, my pen with the cap off. Anyway, grocery list. I digressed there ...

Need coffee filters. And dish soap. Better check the dog food in the laundry room. Wait, the dryer is full. Better fold that, and put the T-shirts away. Oh, look, here's all the birthday cards the kids have ever gotten me. Wow, these go way back. They grow up so fast ... "Sunrise, sunset." Wait, that's from something. A musical. Which one? Google "Sunrise." First answer, "Tequila Sunrise." Man, I loved the Eagles! Google "how many of the Eagles are still alive?" Dang, Glenn Frey, huh? Loved him in "Jerry McGuire." Google, "show me the money!" Wait ... reading. I digress ...

All right, settle down to read. Except, yeah, coffee kicks in. Bathroom break. Thirty minutes later, back to reading. But I notice the trash can in the bathroom is full. Better empty it into the one in the kitchen, which is ... now full. So, outside to the big can. Which is in the garage. Where that big file cabinet where you lost your passport is. Better find that by pulling out all the files. There it is! Now, what order did you have these in? OK, good to go and back to reading. Except, did I put a liner in the trash can? Better check on that. Now, reading, because ... I digress.

Wait, did I ever make that coffee? Nope. OK, so, coffee maker. And my mug is in the sink, so better get a fresh one, since it has soap in it. All the mugs are in the dishwasher. Which I need to empty. And, do we have dishwasher detergent? Grocery list. Did I ever finish that? Wait, don't you need water in a coffee maker? Well, technically, yes. I mean, if you actually want coffee, so ... but I digress.

When the children were younger and at home, they'd interrupt me. Now, I interrupt myself. I mean, sure Bill Gates reads every day. But that's because he can afford to have a Starbucks in his Man Cave and if he wants to know which Eagles are still alive, he can just ask them, since they're on retainer to wake him up by playing "Life in the Fast Lane" in one of his living rooms every morning. But I digress ...

I would love to say this is an unusual scenario, but I'm afraid it's not even unique to me. We've developed devices and tools to make our lives easier, yet for some reason, it seems we've lost the ability to stop long enough for the most simple things. I blame our hectic existence, our fractured attention spans and the multitude of distractions we face every day. That and the coffee maker.

But I digress ...

Commentary on 03/02/2018

Print Headline: A column about ... what was it?

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