Apparently the sign of a first-rate intellect is the ability to hold two opposing views in your mind at the same time. And, I'm guessing the sign of a second-rate intellect is the ability to hold actual opposing views and continually pick the wrong one.
The latest incarnation of that principle is actually months in the making. Literally. Months. Seems longer, but just months.
See, by the time you all read this, we'll be in the final countdown stages of our youngest daughter's wedding.
Thank you. I had, basically, nothing to do with it.
But there is a challenge to an event like this. Well, actually more than one. For instance, the challenge of trying to get the car in a garage stuffed with all manner of wedding-themed decorations.
And the challenge of trying to operate in the house while not coming within 500 feet of the wedding dress, since if I do, a cup of coffee will magically appear in my hand and then hurl itself on the fabric. Or I'll discover I actually can shoot lasers out of my eyes but only when viewing "something old, something really expensive and altered so it fits perfectly, or at least would have if I hadn't set it on fire with my suddenly discovered X-Men Starter Kit Death Stare." But I digress. And ramble. And really worry about some strange things. However ... that's kind of where we are here.
We're also at a place where I'm beginning to realize that magical ability to hold those two thoughts is also sort of a curse. Like the non-existent laser eyes, but more destructive.
For instance, there's the matter of any and all input into the event. When it comes to decision-making about any element of this wedding, I'm able to hold two unique schools of thought. School One says, "I have an opinion about table settings and decorations, the general layout of the room, the color of bridesmaid dresses or roughly anything associated with the event."
School Two says, "Whatever your opinion, its wholly unqualified, not in the least well-thought-out, completely wrong and shouldn't be expressed. Just say 'whatever you all think' and wander off to contemplate the number of wall sockets in the event hall. 'Look, there's another one over there!'"
OK, so sometimes I get this thing right. A blind frog finds water every now and then.
There is also the matter of holding two points of view about time, particularly as it relates to this event. I can think "Good Lord, my daughter is getting married in just a few months!" And I can also think, "Well, it's months away. No need to worry about it for a while now."
Which one of those is wrong, and which one did I pick?
Time, it seems, is able to expand and contract. The problem is, like your waistline or your wallet, it does the thing you don't want it to do at exactly the time you don't want it to do it.
You see, if I don't think about it, then I won't have to think about what it means. I can sit through the meeting where we can discuss potential table placement and where the ceremony is going to take place and where the bridal party is going to sit and just not think about it. Months off. Lots of time.
And I can get the tux and get my hair cut and try to think of just the right thing to say during the toast and panic just a little that, while speaking in front of people doesn't concern me, dancing in front of them is truly terrifying (I guess being good at it isn't really required? Here's hoping, anyway.). Won't happen for a while.
Because you always think you have plenty of time. Time to plan. Time to get ready for something. Time to prepare. Except instead of a few months ago, I've been realizing this was going to happen since she was born. And I always elected to choose not to think about it.
I have two thoughts here. One thought is I really, really, really want all this to stop and us all to go back, back to when she was little and all this was dress-up and big girl dreams and years and years away.
And the other is, it can't. And shouldn't. And I don't really want it to. Because she doesn't really want it to. And that's all that matters.
So I can hold competing thoughts. And I know which one will win.
Commentary on 12/14/2018