While I was having dinner with a group of friends, the server leaned over the table, porcelain bowl in hand.
"Mashed potatoes?"
"Like someone would actually say no to that," I said.
"I would never say no to that," Brenda said.
"Or more cheese. Or tea," I said.
"Agreed," Brenda said.
"What are you two talking about?" Annie asked, breaking her conversation with Marie.
"Things we'd always say yes to," I replied.
We each stared blankly, compiling our mental lists.
Things I will always say yes to
Card games, board games
Porches, porch swings
Chocolate gravy and biscuits
White gravy and biscuits
Gravy of any kind (except giblet gravy, if giblets can be identified)
Bread and oil or butter
Black pepper
Sleeping beneath a quilt
Anything that nays, bleats, barks, meows, bellows or chirps
The snooze button
Faded blue jeans
A threadbare gray sweatshirt
Tom Selleck
A late-night movie, especially a Western
Anything written by Elmore Leonard, Samuel Clemens or Edgar Guest
Mowing a lawn
Being asked whether I have formed an opinion
Being asked whether a meeting should be adjourned
Cornbread dressing with an obscene amount of sage
Subway sandwich with an obscene amount of black olives
Old photographs
Postcards
Carol Burnett
Nicknames, especially when incongruous ("Tiny" for a 2,000-pound bull)
Homegrown tomatoes, okra or collards
Farm sales with Uncle Ronnie
Milk glass
A rusty bucket
Anything monogrammed
Things I should always say no to, but can't be trusted to do so
Trivial Pursuit
Bangs
A home permanent
A salon permanent
Hopping a fence instead of opening a gate
Smelling or tasting potentially soured milk
An educated country boy
A "start" from neighbor's flower bed
Hallmark Christmas movies
Knocking down a wasp nest
Hot sauce
Fast food
Square2Square bike ride
NAN Our Town on 08/09/2018