LITTLE ROCK — Dear Otus,
How can I get in on that big squirrel hunt planned for Eureka in the fall?
- Rusty Sciurus, Heber Springs
Dear Rusty,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and to let you know that if you don’t get picked for the hunt in Eureka Springs, there’ll be another one right there in Heber Springs.
In fact, six other cities - Bull Shoals, Cherokee Village, Fairfield Bay, Horseshoe Bend, Lakeview and Russellville - plan urban squirrel bow hunts this fall and winter to reduce the populations by a total of 750,000.
But Eureka Springs’ promises to be the wildest and woolliest. The three-day event will take place without the usual smothering, officious oversight from the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission.
The event, to be held Sept. 28-30, will also feature History Channel’s Swamp People star Kristi Broussard as honorary grand marshal of Squirrel Fest.
On the evening of the 29th, Kristi will give a lecture at the Basin Spring Park about the Cajun squirrels of the Atchafalaya River Basin and share her favorite squirrel gumbo recipes.
She’ll also preside over the weigh-in Sunday afternoon and promises to bring “a special guest.” Rumor has it she’ll be Kristi’s good friend, Cajun Pawn Stars’ Tammie DeRamus-Credeur, who’ll bring the pawn shop’s fabled Chadronian-age stuffed vampire squirrel to show the crowd.
The Squirrel Fest and hunt don’t sound like the typical stuffy Game and Fish events. Credit goes to the Eureka committee formed to expedite the hunt and circumvent commission control.
“What we did was we declared the entire city one giant squirrel camp,” said Assistant Police Chief Earl Douglas, chairman of the Squirrel Hunt Committee. “That really cut a lot of red tape, and it gave the city complete control of who is hunting inside the city limits instead of Game and Fish.”
The town is still conducting its hunt through the commission’s Squirrel Management Assistance Program, which provides technical assistance and gives bow hunting safety advice.
“Arkansas has about 8 million squirrels,” said Cory Grayson, squirrel program coordinator for the commission. “Last year, 3.27 million squirrels were harvested in the state. That’s not nearly enough to control overpopulation in a concentrated area such as Eureka.”
Squirrels have become a nuisance - even a danger - to many who live in the tourist town. The “rats with bushy tails” forage on gardens, steal food from sack lunches, frighten Yankee visitors and are frequently hit by cars, creating unsightly road kill on the city streets.
The city is so overrun, the committee plans to issue 450 bow hunting permits for Squirrel Fest.
There is also irrefutable evidence that rival squirrel gangs have divided the city into territories and are vying for control.
“I’ve witnessed vicious squirrel fights in the middle of Pivot Rock Road,” Mayor Morris Pate said. “The so called Sciuridae Brotherhood has staked out Harmon Park south to the Palace Hotel, while the Steele Street Bellotas hold sway on the south side up to about the Mud Street Cafe.
“The area in between is a bloody no-man’s land. Woe unto the citizen who gets in the way.
“Hopefully the hunt will cut down on the turf wars. It was voted on. It’s the demand of the people and it’s what they’re going to get.”
Dani Joy, the previous mayor, said squirrels were never a major problem during her administration and she was disappointed that professional Game and Fish hunters would not be culling the scurry, which is what a gathering of squirrels is called.
“If I had known that [Game and Fish] was not going to be over here monitoring the hunt and in charge of it, I would never have backed it,” Joy said.
Critics have feared an onslaught of bow hunters during peak fall foliage tourist times, but the committee allayed fears by announcing that no broadheads would be allowed - field tips only.
Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that as disgusting as it may be, gray squirrels are crepuscular.
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Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat’s award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. E-mail:
HomeStyle, Pages 32 on 06/16/2012