Lisa Kelley

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Recent Stories

Dear Television Moguls

Don’t mess with Magnum

Subscriber onlyListen here, Hollywood and L.A. I know I'm not an authority on much in your world. I don't know the first thing about carrying on calmly while the earth shifts violently beneath you. I can't tell you how to "hang 10" unless it involves five pairs of socks and a clothesline. And I couldn't follow your gnarly dialect if you tied me to a post and like, totally made me watch the movie Valley Girl for a week straight. Continue reading...

Scandalous love affair

Audio books lead to strange behavior

Subscriber onlyI adore a good book, and for the most part, I think a good book is terribly fond of me. We spend a scandalous number of hours together in our love affair, curled up on the sofa or nestled under bedcovers, just the two of us. And a dog. And two cats. And two rabbits and fish nearby. But mostly, it's just us. Continue reading...

That's a lot of bull

If Roosevelt visited to Pollard, Arkansas

Subscriber onlyIt was the summer of 1954 when the bull attacked my mother. Not a pit bull. Not Bull, the bailiff from the 1980s sitcom "Night Court." Not Bull, the doctor in the current drama inspired by the life of Phil McGraw ...although the idea of Dr. Phil attacking my mother would make for a compelling story. Continue reading...

Tales of tinsled taxidermy

Ghosts haunt Grammy’s for Christmas present

Subscriber onlyAfter midnight on Christmas Eve, I curled up on the small bed tucked beneath the stairwell at Grammy's house, Baxter ever-present by my side. We both knew one of us was supposed to be the loyal protector of the other, but neither was quite sure who was assuming the duty that night. Continue reading...

The night before Christmas

Santa knows all, gives great gift

Subscriber only"911, what's your emergency?" Continue reading...

Baptism, watermelon, coffee

Circumstances lead to grateful encounter

Subscriber onlyI wasn't sure which building of the Methodist church to enter, so I aimed for the one with the highest steeple and opened the large white door. I was early -- which, by societal standards, means I was timely -- a feat which ranks in rarity with Halley's comet and the Cubs winning the pennant. My mama used to say I was born late and had been late ever since, chiding me that the early bird gets the worm. I'd counter that the second mouse gets the cheese. She would roll her eyes and declare how I'd be late to my own funeral, which I never saw as a bad thing. Continue reading...

Holiday horror hideout

Classic films sure to scare

Subscriber onlySince downsizing to my little loft in the heart of Bentonville, I've greatly reduced the size of my holiday decor. Whereas once I had a dozen Halloween knick-knacks and 20 Thanksgiving baubles strewn about, I now have a couple -- an iron black cat and a denim pumpkin -- commanding center stage. I think the little buggers stand straighter these days, as though they know they beat out the competition. Continue reading...

Orange you difficult?

Color signals trouble ahead

Subscriber only"I don't care much for the color orange," I randomly blurted to my friend, Karen, as we sauntered through the craft fair booths. "It seems like trouble to me." Continue reading...

The open road

And finding your way home

Subscriber onlyWithout a doubt, I'm a nester. Instead of twigs and leaves, I use embroidered cotton sheets, cozy tufted chairs and hand-stitched quilts. Laptops and cell phones mingle with milk glass and century-old tables. I ride a new hybrid bicycle and drive a 1978 Ford F-100. My nest is a soothing blend of past and present woven in a gentle hope of good things to come. Continue reading...

Dream reveals all

Running naked, changing batteries

Subscriber onlyThis hallway seems vaguely familiar, with institutional green plaster and gray lockers. But it's so dimly lit I can hardly make out the numbers on the doors. That looks like a "7," but I can't be sure. What did my schedule show? Continue reading...

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