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Stories by Gwen Rockwood

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Epic fail in the toy aisle

Writer wishes she was making this ‘stuff’ up

Subscriber onlyMy favorite humor writer, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Dave Barry, is famous for the line "I am not making this up." He uses it when writing about things that are so absurd that any sane person would assume he's taking creative liberties with his description when, in fact, the description happens to be ridiculous AND true. I thought of Dave's famous line when my daughter spotted a toy recently and brought it over to the shopping cart to show me. Continue reading...

Complete in triplicate

Forms, forms, forms turn moms in to personal assistants

Subscriber onlyFor years, mothers have been expected to wear several hats to get the job done -- cook, nurse, teacher, chauffeur, psychologist, housekeeper, event coordinator and detective. But I had no idea that "administrative assistant" would become such a big part of what I do each week. Continue reading...

My sweet addiction

Dieter goes head to head with sugar sabotage

Subscriber onlyIf you'd asked me a few months ago if I'm the kind of person who loves sweets, I'd have said no. And even though I didn't know it at the time, that response would have been a big ol' lie. Continue reading...

A fate worse than death?

Stage fright beatable in three easy steps

Subscriber onlyTomorrow I'm going to attend a luncheon and speak for 20 to 30 minutes to a room full of people. I'm headed to bed early tonight in hopes I'll be rested and on my "A game" tomorrow. Continue reading...

Recipe for raising kids

Cookbooks won't tell you secrets: love and time

Subscriber onlyYesterday, as I was standing over the stove stirring boiling macaroni noodles, I asked a question my family hears a lot around our house. "Wonder what I should write about this week. You guys have any ideas?" Continue reading...

Another year, another number

Forty-one things about the here and now

Subscriber onlyIn a few days, I'll turn 41 -- which is a year past the black balloons and the "Oh Lordy, she's 40" jokes. And it's two years past 39, which I always felt was a desperate-sounding age, like it's clinging to its last shred of youth by brittle fingernails. Continue reading...

A life that's good

Song says what's in writer's heart

Subscriber onlyI like music, but I'm not as into it as many people are. I've written before about how I treasure those times when I'm in the car alone, and it's absolutely quiet -- nothing but the sound of the road. It gives my mind a chance to relax, and my writing is better when I have more opportunities to "hear myself think." Continue reading...

Never Argue With Loyalty

Shopper vows devotion to her favorite brands

Subscriber onlyTom did something shocking the other day. He came home from the store with a few things I'd asked him to pick up before the next snowstorm hit. As I unloaded the shopping bags, I stopped short. Continue reading...

Married With Cold Feet

HUSBAND GIVES THE (EASY, INEXPENSIVE) GIFT OF WARMTH

Subscriber onlyWhen you’ve been married for a while, gifts aren’t as big a deal as they once were. Continue reading...

Wacky, Weird, Wonderful

WORD ORIGINS LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG

Subscriber onlyAs a self-admitted “word nerd,” I love it when my kids want to know what something means. The English language is such a wonderfully complicated thing, and it’s fun to watch a kid’s comprehension grow along with her shoe size. Continue reading...

A Is For Apology

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD

Subscriber onlyLast night I had one of those parenting moments that make you hate yourself the next day. Tom was out of town on business. I needed to make the kids’ dinner. Three lunches needed to be packed for school the next day. Continue reading...

Looking For Original

CREATIVE MINDS NEED MORE IMPORTANT MISSION

Subscriber onlyI nearly had a frustrated fit in the grocery store today. There I stood, scanning a wide selection of applesauce containers looking for one thing — original. Continue reading...

Too Important For Humans

CUSTOMER SERVICE VIA COMPUTER A SCARY CONCEPT

Subscriber onlyIf you’re on the phone and you hear the following words, you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that what you’re hearing is a big, fat, hairy lie: “Your call is very important to us. The next representative will be with you shortly.” Continue reading...

Goodbye, Old Friend

ONE-EARED DOG THE BEST THERE EVER WAS

Subscriber onlyA sad thing happened here a few weeks before Christmas. I didn’t write about it at the time, mostly because it’s not good to coat your laptop’s keyboard in salty tears and also because it was nearly Christmas — which is supposed to be the “most wonderful time of the year.” Continue reading...

Might As Well Jump

WRITER LOOKS AT THE TRUTH REGARDING THE WORD ‘CAN’T’

Subscriber onlyYou know how sometimes something gets stuck in your head, and you can’t seem to shake it? I’m not talking about bad songs or annoying commercials — although there are a few local ad jingles that keep coming back to me like a bad rash. I’m talking about a thought that circles around and around in your head looking for a place to land. Continue reading...

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