Stories by Gary Smith
RSSCOMMENTARY: Security Measures of a Feeble Mind
So I’m feeling pretty secure right now. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Spring Weather Turns Flaky
One day, it’s 80 degrees and we’re wearing shorts. The next, it’s snowing and we’re wearing parkas. You know, I have teenagers. I don’t need anything else to have these kinds of mood swings. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: TV Compels Culinary Confessions
I was watching The Food Channel the other day when I saw a show about cupcakes. (Hey, it was halftime. Don’t judge.) During this particular episode, someone ate his cupcake by breaking it in half, horizontally, sticking the bottom, cake-y part on top of the icing and devouring it, sandwich-style. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: What Did She Just Say? Siri-ously
Is it just me or does Siri have an attitude? Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: After Boston, What Do We Do Now?
It’s not supposed to be this hard. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Half Marathon A Whole Challenge
I did something stupid the other day. OK, I know, I need to be more specific. I ran 13.1 miles. And no one was chasing me. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Childhood A Hare-Raising Adventure
The Easter Bunny destroyed my childhood. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Welcome To Spring Break, Eh?
I sat down to write a coherent column, and all that came out was ramblings from spring break in the Great Northwest. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Taking A Break For Springtime
In a few days I’m going to find myself locked in a series of confined spaces with a collection of people complaining about the food, living conditions and access to the bathroom. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: ‘Getting Physical’ Takes New Meaning
Once upon a time, back when I was younger and we did our homework by candlelight on the back of a coal shovel (never did that, despite what my kids might think), the only two things I dreaded this time of year were April 15 and snakes coming out of hibernation. As time has marched on, I’ve got one more thing for the list. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Column-Writing? Driven By Deadlines
Now, you never know how folks are going to react when you start writing a column. I mean, it has been a while since I did this sort of thing, and when I did, I had the safety net of the rolling three-ring circus and general freak show that is college athletics to fall back on. And before you rise up in protest, I’ve got two names for you: Manti Te’o and Honey Badger. Case rested. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Note From A Prom Dress Speakeasy
I should have seen this coming. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Culinary Concoctions Confuse
I had some arugula the other night. Which is noteworthy because I don’t really know what arugula is. Some sort of lettuce, I think, but I could be wrong. There were just a lot of things in that salad I didn’t quite recognize, and so it could have been any of them. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Brotherhood A Special Bond
One of the biggest storylines heading into last Sunday’s Super Bowl was, for the first time in NFL history, two brothers would be coaching the opposing teams. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Groundhog Casts Long Shadow
I’ve always been a little ambivalent about my birthday, and not just because the number will soon be equal to a state highway speed limit. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Learning From A French Horn
I’m not exactly buying the theory we are the sum of the parts of those who have gone before us. But if we are, and I get to pick the parts my kids get from the Lovely Mrs. Smith, one of those parts I hope they get is musical talent. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Loss Of Simpler Times Alarming
My smoke alarm hates me. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Make 2013 A More, Better Year
It’s that time of year again, and no, I don’t mean time to dig that orange out of the bottom of the Christmas stocking like you didn’t do last year before you put it in the attic. But that would be important to do. Go ahead. We’ll wait. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: And We’re Back: Disasters Averted
I poked my head out of the bomb shelter long enough to determine it looks like the Mayans’ projections of our demise were, to paraphrase Mark Twain, greatly exaggerated. The good news is we’re all still around. The bad news is it looks like I’m going to have to get my driver’s license renewed. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Hugs Come Easier Than Solutions
I’ve been around long enough to develop a pretty good understanding life is fairly absurd and therefore shouldn’t be taken too seriously. I’ve generally been able to find the joy in things, to see a lot more of the brightness and not so much of the dark. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Change Sometimes Gets Hairy
This should come as no real surprise to anyone who is acquainted with me, but I have been known on occasion to do things that, in retrospect, prove to not be very smart. Continue reading...
Parents, Children Teach Each Other
She was born early in the morning on July 26, 1987, the first of our four children. The doctor had assured us a few days earlier we were at least a week away from having our daughter, so when we called him before dawn, he told my wife to walk around and see if the contractions went away. I can only imagine how that could have looked to any of our neighbors awake at that ungodly hour. My wife, dressed in a yellow maternity top and shorts with bright-colored parrots on them, striding around the outside of our small Fort Smith house in the dark, me trailing behind trying to read a watch by street light to see if four minutes had passed. Continue reading...
COMMENTARY: Movie For Two? How Romantic
In general, my house operates like a democracy. An idea is proposed, everyone starts shouting, filibusters are threatened, lobbying is involved, someone suggests this signals the end of life as we know it, backroom deals are made, and then, finally, we can go get ice cream. Continue reading...
Thanksgiving: Deep-Fried Holiday
By this time next week, Thanksgiving will be on us — figuratively and literally. Continue reading...
