OPINION | EDITORIAL: Stir-crazy at the North Pole

Stir-crazy at the North Pole

"Wonderful Life" five times an hour,

"Christmas Vacation" six,

Santa, the missus, all the elves,

Feed their movie fix.

They've watched the Muppets, "Home Alone,"

"Frosty the Snowman," too.

The Grinch (both ones), and Ferrell's "Elf,"

The flick they just call "Scrooged."

"A Christmas Carol," but of course,

the first, remakes and more.

At least two shows featuring

that Macy's flagship store.

Mr. Claus' face held signs

of movie overload,

Glazed-over eyes and twitchy lips--

a migraine episode.

Quarantine has kept his homestead

'way from malls and such

So hunkered down they all must stay;

stir-crazed just a touch.

"I've seen these movies many times,"

Kringle told himself.

"I know each line, each funny face.

Each reference to myself."

"My wife has even made me watch

those awful Lifetime shows

in which a prince falls for a girl,

and e'ery Christmas snows."

"My sleigh I'd give for one less night

of '50s-grade cartoons.

Less bad Santas, BB guns,

And National Lampoons."

"But Santa," one brave elf piped up,

"We do not have to pick,

from only movies suggested by

the people at Netflix."

"We've many movies yet to go,

Christmas movies, too!

You've made your lists, now here is mine.

Add these flicks to the queue:"

"Die Hard," the elf explained, is great

Christmas-y fanfare.

Christmas music plays all film

(between the shots and swears).

"Gremlins" is a Christmas flick,

the elf explained post-haste.

Aykroyd and Murphy traded places,

That movie is an ace!

Elf says Geena lights up the screen

in "The Long Kiss Goodnight."

The soundtrack fills with holiday faves,

As the actors kill and fight.

"Batman Returns" is Christmas dark,

the elf explains out loud.

Every Harry Potter show:

the holidays allowed!

Santa tapped his pipe and thought:

This elf may have it right.

Charlie Brown? Red Ryder gun?

Not another night!

He fired up remote control,

And zipped through Netflix' posts

And turned to the film section that

Santa liked the most.

He'd watch the zany antics of

his favorite family.

The best movie set in Christmastime

and all the elves agreed.

The crew settled in that night

without much aid or bother,

and munched popcorn silently,

As they watched . . . .

"The Godfather"

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