Peace out, daylight saving time.
Yes, "saving"
As in singular.
As in there's no "s" on the end.
Daylight saving time.
Now that we've clarified that, we won't have to spend our blessed fall-back hour serving as the spelling police on social media. So here are some other ways we can spend our extra 60 minutes:
• With Election Day on Tuesday, use your bonus 360 seconds to study up on issues and candidates. Visit websites. Read all the text messages they've sent you. Study all those conflicting mailers filling up your recycling pile. Should you struggle with any time-change insomnia, this will surely help you fall asleep instantly.
• Eat a burrito by biting into it not at the ends, but right in the middle as singer Justin Bieber recently did in a photo that went viral (as Jezebel.com described it: "Here is Justin Bieber eating a burrito much like a demon might eat a small child"). Oh, that photo was fake? It was an elaborate prank with a look-alike actor by the Yes Theory guys? Turns out this burrito was full of beans.
• For dessert, have some sweets, after all today is also National Candy Day. Except we already devoured the good stuff on the unofficial national candy day of Halloween, and now only the bad and nasty Good & Plentys are plentiful.
• Learn about your Enneagram personality type ... but not from the official source, the Enneagraminstitute.com, unless you want to pay. Find a quick/free/fake version of the test somewhere to determine which of the 9 types you are -- I'm apparently a "Three." And then spend the rest of the hour loathing yourself based on what you find out. From Enneagraminstitute.com about my needy, competitive status-conscious type: "Threes want success because they are afraid of disappearing into a chasm of emptiness and worthlessness: without the increased attention and feeling of accomplishment which success usually brings, Threes fear that they are nobody and have no value." Ahem, you are still paying attention to me, right?
• "Rock and Roll All Nite" ... or just for an hour, in honor of KISS recently announcing yet another final tour, the End of the Road Farewell Tour. The band said via release: "This will be the ultimate celebration for those who've seen us and a last chance for those who haven't. KISS Army, we're saying goodbye ... with our biggest show yet and we'll go out the same way we came in... Unapologetic and Unstoppable." Of course, they already had a KISS Farewell Tour back in 2000-2001. And about a dozen tours since then. KISS off, already.
• Hit the gym, so you too can have have the six-pack abs like rapper Cardi B recently revealed, not even four months after giving birth. Or just crack open a six-pack instead.
• Roast a chicken. Barefoot Contessa host Ina Garten recently said on the Today show that it was her "Engagement Chicken" recipe (tinyurl.com/engagechicken) Meghan Markle cooked the night Prince Harry proposed. Assuming it lands you a prince too, that's the last hour you'll ever spend cooking.
• Do nothing. According to TimeAndDate.com, "The first Sunday of November is not only the end of the Daylight Saving Time period in the United States, it is also Zero Tasking Day. The unofficial holiday encourages people to take it easy, give up multitasking for a day and well, do no tasks."
It sounded great to us. Until the site suggested ideas for how to do stuff on do-nothing day.
"How to Celebrate? Do nothing and just relax. Enjoy the extra hour you get because of the end of DST by taking a leisurely walk in the park or drinking coffee or tea while people-watching at the mall."
Drink coffee or tea? That will keep us up at night when our circadian rhythms already have been disrupted.
And a leisurely walk in the park? It's dark too dang early!
Time to email:
Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.
Style on 11/04/2018