Arkansas Sportsman

Copperheads too close for comfort

Copperheads have been a major pain in the face at our little corner of Hot Spring County this spring.

They're really big copperheads, too, but we've always had really big ones on our property.

The first encounter with a mega-copperhead was about five years ago, when Miss Laura lifted a board and narrowly avoided a strike. Miss Laura is a tolerant sort, but her fuse is short. She had our son Matthew whack the serpent with a shovel, but it sprayed venom all over his face, prompting a mad dash to the hydrant.

Two weeks ago, we woke to find two of Miss Laura's collie puppies piled up in a corner of their kennel, their little faces swollen like balloons. In the far corner was the culprit, a massive copperhead that looked smug and scornful. Only a low-down snake is so sorry as not to love a cute, sweet little collie puppy.

That's about the time our daughters shouted that a big king snake was in the garden.

In a vengeful rage, Laura decreed upon it the same fate as the copperhead's.

"Leave the king snake alone!" boomed the judge.

"Whatever attracted the copperhead attracted him, too, and king snakes kill copperheads," I said to the still seething Miss Laura. "We want that guy around."

"It'll kill my chicks!" she hissed.

"No it won't," I said. "Black rat snakes are the chick killers. King snakes are the good guys."

Copperheads could be the good guys too if they would mind their own business. None of them would be there if there weren't an abundance of prey, most likely rodents.

Tuesday evening the daughters summoned me excitedly.

"Shadow is fighting with a huge copperhead!" daughter Brooke shouted.

Shadow is a remarkable collie. She has a strong herding instinct, but she loves to fight and kill things. One of her favorite tricks is to feign slumber with her back to her food bowl, at a seemingly insurmountable distance. With one slitted eye she watches squirrels creep to the dish, and then she's on them with the quickness of a cat. She eats them, too.

She has a special disdain for opossums, and if a snake invades her territory, she will find it and call her people for reinforcements.

In this case, she battled a giant copperhead that was coiled up on the steps of Miss Laura's "Woman Cave."

When we bought the place in 2005, the structure was a decrepit old barn with a rotten, collapsing cedar shake roof. I wanted to torch it, and I actually did -- accidentally, sort of -- try to take it down by "miscutting" a dead oak tree. We were astonished when the building absorbed the impact and then heaved the tree over onto my boat.

"Serves you right," Miss Laura scoffed.

Miss Laura and our sons rebuilt the structure into a private refuge, complete with a Ben Franklin wood stove, where she escapes to create art and chill with the girls.

She would not take well to a coiled copperhead on the steps, especially since the opening in the cinder blocks behind it strongly suggested that the snake resided in the crawl space.

Imagine Laura and the girls be-bopping out there in the dark to sidle up on the sofa for a late night cup of herbal tea and a few chapters of a story before bedtime.

The snake gave us a preview of that movie by having fanged a furious Shadow on the snout, and it was itching to dish out more.

Fully stretched, the copperhead was 33 inches long, with vibrant copper patterns from head to tail.

Herpetology sources say that large adult male copperheads are usually 29-30 inches long, so 33 inches is exceptionally large. The largest recorded specimen was 53 inches.

According to Herps of Arkansas, copperheads have an affinity for abandoned barns and similar structures. They also prefer rock structures and wood piles.

Copperheads are active in hot weather, especially in the spring when they disperse from their dens to hunt and to seek mates.

Most likely, there is a raft of them under Miss Laura's Woman Cave, but we'll just have to take that on faith because no one -- namely me -- is curious enough to investigate personally.

If copperheads keep biting her dogs, Miss Laura might burn the Woman Cave down on top of them.

Sports on 05/24/2018

Upcoming Events