SEATTLE -- One time I was listening to Beethoven's 5th when a friend yanked off my headphones and said, "That's no Mozart's 40th, bro." Another time I was marveling at the majesty of Machu Picchu when a tourist screamed, "Distant second to the Pyramids of Giza!"
Donatello couldn't carry Michelangelo's rasp. Bill Gates would crush Jeff Bezos if he were still in his prime. And if you put a box of Lucky Charms next to Fruit Loo ... my god, this is annoying.
Question: Is it possible for us to agree that some things are great without immediately asking if something else is greater? Because I can't seem to watch a single mind-blowing LeBron James performance without hearing how he compares with Michael Jordan.
This isn't friendly barroom banter anymore. It's pointless, ubiquitous drivel.
We're talking about different players from different eras in a game that has evolved dramatically over the past 20 years. So as LeBron is in the midst of what might be his best postseason yet, can we just enjoy it for what it is?
Monday night, the Cavs completed a four-game sweep of the Raptors after James had his worst game of the series. He put up a measly 29 points on 12-of-19 shooting while adding 11 assists and 8 rebounds.
Granted, if a guy posts those numbers for an entire season, he would be the runaway league MVP. But considering what else James has done throughout these playoffs, that line is a Ford among Ferraris.
Before Monday, LeBron had averaged 34.8 points, 9.5 rebounds and 8.8 assists while shooting 54.7 percent in his 10 games this postseason. He has scored at least 40 points four times, racked up at least 11 assists four times, and last week passed Scottie Pippen (Hamburg, Central Arkansas) for the most steals in playoff history.
The most impressive figure might come from an advanced stat cooked up by former NBA writer and current Grizzlies executive John Hollinger, whose Player Efficiency Rating formula estimated that James was single-handedly worth 5.2 victories in 10 games.
In the opening series against Indiana, James' scoring average was triple that of any other Cavalier, and he led the team in points, assists, rebounds, steals and blocks.
More memorably, he has hit two game-winning buzzer-beaters this postseason -- one coming off a pull-up three vs. Indiana, the other on a running bank shot vs. Toronto.
His postseason, game-winning buzzer-beater total is now up to five -- the most in NBA history.
How someone can continue this level of excellence after 15 years in the NBA defies logic. How someone can be this durable and this overwhelming this deep into his career borders on absurd.
I realize much of Seattle has become disenfranchised from the NBA since the you-know-whos left 10 years ago. But LeBron's brilliance should be the bouquet of roses that temporarily revives the relationship.
It isn't just the battering ram power and Peter Pan hops that stand out. It's his brainwaves moving at warp speed, too.
He'll throw an alley-oop for a dunk, rip an around-the-back pass for a layup or swing the ball knowing it's three passes away from a three-pointer. There hasn't been anyone on the Cavs who has been able to replicate this -- not even Kyrie Irving during their first three years together. Cleveland's record with James in the lineup since he returned? 129-43. Its record without him? 4-18.
I don't want to get into who the best NBA player ever is, because there are too many variables for us to know. However, I would argue that -- with his spurning of Cleveland, villain role in Miami, and redemptive return to his hometown -- LeBron might be the most compelling.
Social media has put him under a level of scrutiny his predecessors never experienced. It has added what would be unbearable pressure to most, yet he has delivered peerless production over a decade and a half.
Well, guess what? So far, these have been James' best playoffs yet. From stat-page-stuffing to coldblooded clutch shooting, this postseason has gone from fantastic to fairy tale.
So enjoy it. But don't compare it.
Even if you don't think James is the greatest, you should be able to appreciate his greatness.
Sports on 05/10/2018