August is hot stuff -- hot dogs, fried chicken and sizzling catfish. This dry month is the desert between July and September, but look up ahead: What's that in the heat shimmer? Could be a mirage, could be a watering hole, could be -- yes! -- a watermelon stand.
1 National Catfish Month, Romance Awareness Month, the Dog Days of Summer. A fish on the bottom, love bugs -- we got 'em, a long way to autumn.
EASY DOES IT
2 Simplify Your Life Week, and easy ways to simplify:
• Eat over the sink. The kitchen counter is where the cat eats, and the dining room table is a place for bills to pile up.
• Wear the same socks every day -- baseball's "lucky socks" rule for everybody.
• Disconnect the doorbell. People who ring the doorbell expect attention. Don't make it so easy to cause trouble.
JUICY WHOOPEE
3 How to celebrate National Watermelon Day -- with nose to the rind zone.
(See Aug. 9.)
SHINE ON
Bright Night celebration, 5 p.m. at Big Rock Mini-Golf and Fun Park, Little Rock, benefits Methodist Family Health. Details at eventbrite.com. Call (501) 906-4209.
FAW DOWN, GO SPLAT
4 National Clown Day, National Mustard Day -- when only a bozo would put ketchup on a hot dog.
WEDGIES ALL AROUND
5 National Underwear Day. VIPs strut their BVDs, but what does "BVD" stand for?
-- (A) Be Very Dramatic; (B) Big Viking Dude, or (C) In brief, the names of three guys and the company that came up with selling men's underwear in a plastic bag.
(Answer at Aug. 12.)
SWEETHEARTS AND SWEAT HEATS
6 Romance Awareness Month and other hot affairs.
ENTER EXPRESS PASSCODE
OF 15 ITEMS OR LESS
7 Shop Online for Groceries Month -- the idea that trades a wobbly cart for a crashed computer.
THE BUCCANEER STOPS HERE
8 International Pirate Month.
Oh, I arr a pirate,
I sail the high seas,
I'd give up me treasure
For one little breeze;
I'd shiver me timbers
If only I could,
But this being August,
We're dry-docked but good.
SEEDY TIME
9 Hope Watermelon Festival through Aug. 11 at Fair Park in Hope. Details at hopemelonfest.com. Call (870) 777-3640.
RED-TAG SALES IN THE SUNSET
Bargains Galore on 64, yard sales and flea markets through Aug. 11 along U.S. 64 east from Fort Smith to Beebe. Details at bargainsgaloreon64.org. Call (888) 568-3552.
BOW DIDDLEY
Old-Time Fiddle Weekend through Aug. 11 at Ozark Folk Center Park, Mountain View. Details at ozarkfolkcenter.com. Call (870) 269-3851.
STARRY, STARRY NIGHT
Meteor Shower watching nights through Aug. 13 at DeGray Lake Resort State Park near Bismarck, and Aug. 11-12 at Pinnacle Mountain State Park near Little Rock. Details at arkansas.com.
WREATH OF TEETH
10 How to celebrate National Smile Week: by authority of the crown.
ST. LOUIE, HEWEY AND DEWEY
Missouri Admission Day, 1821. Arkansas' neighbor to the north, the "Show Me State," admits that Arkansas showed 'em.
BEAT THE DRUMSTICKS
11 Mt. Nebo Chicken Fry, an all-day, 71-year-old tradition at Dardanelle. Details at dardanellechamber.com. Call (479) 229-3328.
SAYS VOLUMES
Arkansas Book and Paper Show through Aug. 12 at Jacksonville Community Center, Jacksonville. Details at arkansasbookandpapershow.com. Call (501) 985-1663.
IT IS TO LAUGH
12 Admit You're Happy Month. C'mon, admit it. Life is but a breeze. No? All right, then, have it your way. Here comes Mr. Tickle-toes.
ALONE ON AN AISLE
WITH YOU
Democrat-Gazette Summer Bridal Show, 12:30 a.m..-5 p.m. at Statehouse Convention Center, Little Rock. Details at arkansasbridalcommunity.com. Call (501) 378-3807.
WHERE TO WEAR? --
UNDER THERE
Undercover underwear answer: (C): "BVD" stands for BVD-makers Bradley, Voorhees & Day, who started their bustling business with a different product, women's bustles.
ON THE OTHER HAND
13 Left-Handers Day. Which famous left-hander celebrates his 72nd birthday on Aug. 19: (A) country singer Lefty Frizzell; (B) mobster "Lefty Two Guns" Ruggiero, (C) jazz composer W.C. Handy, or (D) Bill Clinton.
Answer at Aug. 29.
ROCK 'EM, SOCK 'EM
14 Godsmack and Shinedown, 7 p.m. at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (800) 745-3000.
BLANKET ENDORSEMENT
15 How to celebrate National Picnic Month: quickly, before the bugs find out.
GAG RULING
16 National Tell a Joke Day. Yeah, right. Hah!
• "Comedy is tragedy plus time." -- Carol Burnett.
• "I've always worked hard." -- Adam Sandler.
• "Golf was my first glimpse of comedy." -- Bill Murray.
PUNCH-DRUNK LINE
But some jokes, don't bother telling. Who would believe it? A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar together, no problem. A mailman and a chicken, why not? A space alien and rutabaga farmer, makes sense. But never this: A Democrat and a Republican walk in together.
VROOM WITH A VIEW
17 Mountains, Music and Motorcycles rally through Aug. 19, Mountain View. Details at yourplaceinthemountains.com. Call (870) 269-8068.
HEAVENS TO OLD BETSY
Born on a mountaintop Davy Crockett's birthday, 1786. Old Betsy was Davy's name for his rifle that he used to blow out the candles.
"No man who has not tried it can imagine what dreadful hard work it is to listen." -- Davy Crockett.
CHICKY-CHICKY-BOOM-BOOM
18 Wingstock, chicken wings and beer, noon at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (800) 745-3000.
HERP, HERP, HOORAY
Hooray for Herps Weekend through Aug. 19 at Pinnacle Mountain State Park. Details at arkansas.com. Call (501) 868-5806.
They're creepy and they're quicky,
They're scaly and they're slicky,
And altogether icky,
The reptile family.
TALKIN' TATERS
AT THE TABLE
19 National Potato Day -- mashed, riced, with gravy, scalloped, french-fried, rosemary-roasted, grilled, potato chips, potato pancakes, hot potato, cold spaghetti, mashed banana, potato, potato, potato.
NEEDLE-NOSE APPLIERS
20 How to celebrate National Mosquito Day: Stop in for a quick bite.
GONNA NEED AN OCEAN
OF CALAMINE LOTION
21 Day after National Mosquito Day still itches.
MAUI-WOWIE
Hawaii Admission Day, 1959. Hawaii admits the pineapple may be a symbol of good fortune, but it's only a poi man's substitute for a lucky hog hat.
HALO, GOODBYE
22 Be an Angel Day, National Tooth Fairy Day, and how to tell the difference between an angel and the Tooth Fairy:
• An angel shows ways to be kinder.
• The Tooth Fairy pays for a grinder.
NIT-PICKIN' AND GRINNIN'
23 VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Is today your birthday? If so, here comes the dustpan man. It's time to pick up for the party. Neatness counts, and tidiness is next to a drawer full of matched socks. Come clean with fellow neatniks Kobe Bryant, 40 on Aug. 23; Melissa McCarthy, 48 on Aug. 26; and Richard Gere, 69 on Aug. 31.
HERE AT THE RIGHT TIME
Songwriter-musician Josh Ritter, 8 p.m. at South on Main, Little Rock. Details at southonmain.com. Call (501) 244-9660.
IN THE BAG
24 National Golf Month -- when the rules say it's no fair to give a wedgie to a man with a wedgie.
HOT WHEEELS
25 National Championship Chuckwagon Races, mule races, trail rides and other events ahead of wagon races Aug. 31-Sept. 2. Details at chuckwagonraces.com. Call (501) 745-8407.
CHIHUAHUA HOO-HA
26 National Dog Day. The United States has a national bird, the eagle; national mammal, the bison; and national tree, the oak -- but no national dog. Once again, Congress has rolled over. Bark at your representative immediately about this outrage -- or if lawmakers won't listen, tell it to the nearest squirrel.
PARDON PARTY
27 Global Forgiveness Day. After all, if anything deserves a second chance, it's the earth.
SENIOR MOMENTUM
28 Comedy Social Security through Sept. 22 at Murry's Dinner Playhouse, Little Rock. Details at murrysdp.com. Call (501) 562-3131.
HANDS DOWN
29 Left-right quiz answer: (D) former President Bill Clinton signed bills left-handed.
SPARK OF RECOGNITION
30 Frankenstein Day comes alive -- alive! --in celebration of the monster's real creator, author Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, born Aug. 30, 1797.
BUNCHA HARDHEADS
31 Ecology-minded Think Like a Mountain Week through Sept. 3 at Devil's Den State Park near Fayetteville. Details at arkansas.com. Call (479) 761-3325.
Coming next month: September! Write to Ron Wolfe at
by Aug. 15 to suggest September calendar entries or how to celebrate September as Happy Cat Month, such as: Win by a whisker. All entries require a web address and/ or phone number that is answered during business hours.
Style on 07/31/2018