Dear Television Moguls

Don’t mess with Magnum

Posted: February 8, 2018 at 1 a.m.

Listen here, Hollywood and L.A. I know I'm not an authority on much in your world. I don't know the first thing about carrying on calmly while the earth shifts violently beneath you. I can't tell you how to "hang 10" unless it involves five pairs of socks and a clothesline. And I couldn't follow your gnarly dialect if you tied me to a post and like, totally made me watch the movie Valley Girl for a week straight.

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