What's in a Dame

Squares: A better tale than recipe

Bisquick on the draw: Community cookbook comes through with Reuben Appetizer Squares.
Bisquick on the draw: Community cookbook comes through with Reuben Appetizer Squares.

I've got a quick fix for you.

A Bisquick fix.

Last week, I waxed nostalgic, sharing my late Mom's sweet, old-school recipes for candy Easter eggs (secret ingredient: Gulf Wax, which is kept by the canning supplies and not labeled as edible but provides a glossy -- if possibly toxic -- finish).

Not only was I two days late for the actual holiday (or 383 days early for the next), I was confusing with the amount of sweetened coconut to include. Let me use this opportunity to be even more confusing: Just keep dumping it in until it looks right!

I mentioned that Dad found her recipes folded and tucked inside the cover of the worn spiral-bound Glyndon Elementary School Cookbook that still lives on top of the fridge and in our family folklore:

Now that homespun community cookbook, a fundraiser for my school in Reisterstown, Md., long before the days of Pinterest, is still a source of humor for the family. Mom contributed several recipes to it. Tried-and-true recipes, like her Shoofly Cupcakes, were submitted under her name. And then totally random recipes she never prepared ("Reuben Squares? What in the heck are Reuben Squares?! We've never eaten those!") were submitted under "Jenny" Christman's name -- that would be me.

And that's when the corned beef appetizer story gets really corny.

I ribbed her so much about the Reuben Squares -- made not with rye bread, but with Bisquick, of all things, and probably from a recipe printed on the box -- that she finally did prepare the appetizer ... once. Turns out Jenny Christman's Reuben Squares were not half-bad. Maybe I'll share that recipe at another untimely time ... like 383 days before a future St. Patrick's Day.

Well, that time is now. Consider it my two-days-late-for-Easter-and-coconut-conundrum contrition.

I had several readers write in that they were interested in this "borrowed," misattributed prefab Betty Crocker baking mix recipe that we sampled exactly once and never had again. I asked Dad to please "Russian" -- rush in ... get it? Reubens have Russian dressing! -- and find, photograph and text that recipe to me as soon as possible.

Perhaps this "Russian dressing" is more like Thousand Island (mayo, pickle relish, ketchup) -- you expected authenticity from a Bisquick recipe? But, hey, there's plenty of corned beef (really -- only 2 1/2 ounces? For a whole casserole? That seems seriously skimpy) and kraut.

And speaking of kraut ... the Reuben Squares recipe appears in what must be the sauerkraut section of the handwritten community cookbook, because it's on same page as Sandy Thawley's throwback Sauerkraut Balls made with "oleo."

Wonder if Sandy -- if that's really whose recipe it really is! -- ever actually cooked her contribution to the cookbook.

I guess we'll never kn-oleo.

Reuben Appetizer Squares

Original source: Unknown

Credited to: "Jenny Christman" in the Glyndon Elementary School Cookbook

2 cups Bisquick

1 cup milk

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 cup sauerkraut (drained)

2 1/2 ounces thinly sliced corned beef, chopped

2/3 cup mayonnaise or salad dressing

1 tablespoon pickle relish

1 tablespoon ketchup

1 1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese

Heat oven to 450. Mix Bisquick, milk and oil until combined. Press into ungreased 9 x 13 pan. Top with sauerkraut and corned beef. Mix mayonnaise, relish and ketchup until combined and spread over beef mixture. Sprinkle with cheese. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and crust is golden brown. Cut into 2-inch squares.

Special instructions: Don't make this recipe. Put your child's name on it. Submit it for your next community cookbook.

Finally prepare it decades later -- but just once -- and just to shut your child up about it already. Taste it. It's fine, but the story is much better.

Laugh for many years to come.

What's cooking? Email:

[email protected]

What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.

Style on 04/10/2018

Upcoming Events