Washington State football Coach Mike Leach is never one to shy away from sharing advice when asked for it.
Asked by a reporter earlier this week for some wedding advice as he prepares to tie the knot, Leach gave a monologue on what to expect and the insanity that awaits in marriage.
Leach didn't hold back when giving his advice.
"The women lose their mind," Leach began. "Your fiancee is going to lose her mind. Your mother-in-law is going to lose her mind. Your mom is going to lose her mind. Several of your sisters and your female relatives are going to lose their mind, and they're going to barrage you with constant questions -- 'What should we wear?' and of course my answer was, 'I don't care.' And then 'What color should the invitations be?' 'I don't care.' 'What should we have for dessert?' 'I don't care.' 'Should we sit this way, or that way?' 'I don't care.'
"But see, I don't care's not satisfactory at all, and you're going to get caught in a catch-22 -- and I'm certain that you already have -- and that catch-22 is, 'Well, I want you to be a part of this too, so what color invitations?' 'Alright, the blue ones.' 'Well, I kind of like the tan ones.' 'Okay, the tan ones then.' 'Oh you're just saying that because you want this over. You're not even thinking about it.' -- which is, of course, true. 'What do you want for dessert?' 'I was thinking strawberry shortcake.' 'Oh, OK, strawberry shortcake would be good. Well, what about the blueberry pie?' 'Well I like the blueberry pie. We could have the blueberry pie.' 'Well I thought you wanted the strawberry shortcake.'
"And it's just gonna go back and forth, and they're just going to play keep away from you until you're married. There's no answer that you give that's going to be satisfactory or correct. And if you successfully please a few of them, a few others will be, 'Oh, well, I just don't feel like he's that interested.'
"So you need to work late, go in the back room and read a lot of books, take the groomsmen out so you make sure that they march in just right, and they know exactly, you know these swell outfits that you picked out, or however you're doing it. And in the end, you'll wish you eloped. You need to find excuses that they'll buy to be as far out of harm's way as you possibly can."
Quarterback help
The Denver Broncos lost a sixth consecutive game on Sunday after a 3-1 start to the season. Much of that can be attributed to the bad quarterback play from Trevor Siemian and Brock Osweiler.
It inspired Colorado Rockies beat reporter Jake Shapiro to recall quarterbacks that the Rockies have drafted to play baseball, compared to John Elway-drafted quarterbacks. Here's the list Shapiro put on Twitter:
"Quarterbacks drafted by the Colorado Rockies (baseball team):
"Michael Vick
"Russell Wilson
"Todd Helton
"Seth Smith
"Kyle Parker
"Quarterbacks drafted by John Elway's Denver Broncos (football team):
"Brock Osweiler
"Zac Dysert
"Trevor Siemian
"Paxton Lynch
"Chad Kelly"
"I don't know about you, but it certainly seems to me that the Rockies would have a better shot at giving that Broncos defense some help as opposed to the Elway-selected list," Harry Lyles Jr. wrote for SBNation.
Sports quiz
When did John Elway become the Denver Broncos' executive vice president of football operations?
Answer
Elway was named to the post on January 5, 2011.
Sports on 11/24/2017