Dear Mahatma: The posted speed limit on U.S. 165 in Allport, in Lonoke County, was 45 mph. Now those signs are gone. What would the speed limit be in that area now? Could this be a speed trap in the making? -- Mike
Dear Mike: There is indeed a change, but not exactly what cynical minds think. That naturally reminds us of Ambrose Bierce, who said a cynic is "a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be."
This definition is more flowery than ours, which is that a cynic is someone who sees the world as it really is. Are we cynical about cynics, or what?
Danny Straessle, chief spokesman at the Arkansas Highway and Transportation Department, reports on what change really happened after a speed study was conducted in spring of 2016. The study determined the 45 mph limit through Allport was no longer warranted. The 45 mph signs were taken down in June, and the speed limit through there now is 55 mph.
In fact, the speed limit on all two-lane roads in Arkansas is 55 mph unless otherwise posted. That's a statutory requirement.
So, is the speed limit really posted? Yes, Straessle confessed, but only after a grueling interrogation. Signs for 55 mph are posted eastbound as drivers leave England and westbound as drivers leave Humnoke.
In addition, it's wholly a pleasure to get the word Humnoke in the newspaper.
Vanity plate seen on a red convertible: STKSBND.
Dear Mahatma: You used the term zipper merge in a recent column regarding the Big Rock Interchange. Too bad nobody knows what that is. -- Grouchy Man
Dear Man: A zipper merge is when two lanes turn into one as drivers use both lanes, then take turns moving into the one lane. It's a variation on the American Late Merge, which is further refined into the Dynamic Late Merge. Or something.
The zipper merge at the Big Rock is indicated by a big honkin' curvy arrow.
All this deep thought about merging induces headaches. As a wise man once said, "merge" is a Caddo Indian word for "mad as heck."
Our only contribution is to remind everyone to merge when safe. And when merging onto an interstate highway, do so at speed. And don't drive to the end of the on-ramp and stop. Please.
Vanity plate seen on a Mini Cooper: TAX LAW.
Apropos of nothing in particular and everything in general, some information has been forwarded to us. We feel compelled to share.
Arkansas has a lot of highway miles:
• 10 interstate highways make up 748 miles.
• 19 U.S. numbered highways constitute 3,604 miles.
• 384 state highways equal 12,087 miles.
We calculate this as 16,000 miles and change. And it doesn't include city streets or county roads. The potential for potholes, etc., is enormous. At least we all now know the scope of the task and will quit complaining. Or something.
Vanity plate, sentimental: MOMIMSU.
Metro on 01/28/2017